filled and fooled



Damn Spam!


I didn’t see I had requests to view my blog! Aww thank you guys for caring. I’m sorry I went private. I just couldn’t bare the thought of sharing my sex stories with the world anymore, I stopped checking stats months ago but when I would think to take a look I was getting way more hits than I was comfortable with.  I will probably open back up in the future, but for now I need to feel safe and protected here.

So I went back to being a sexless prude. Having a public blog sharing stuff about threesomes and sex lists and dildo adventures just didn’t feel genuine anymore. Not that it wasn’t the truth and my true feelings at the time, but so much has changed in the past year.

What happened? Well, gosh, nothing really.

Truthfully, our last threesome was great! I came away sweaty and happy and fulfilled, and even walked funny for a few days.  But that was in November. And James doesn’t call or come around much, it seems he only needs it once every couple months. I need more.

But with most areas of my life, I can’t seem to articulate just exactly it is that I want, what I want to change. So I went back to how I was before because I didn’t want to want anymore. Back to not caring about sex, to having a headache or being too tired. The, without the steady flow of orgasms and confidence boosts, I really was too tired, too sad and sexless and evidently depressed.

Today, all my confidence is gone, I can barely look in the mirror, let alone imagine taking a photo of myself.

Which makes it hard to get into having exciting open marriage fun.

So hello, are you glad you are here now?

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I felt much worse a month ago, when I had NO hope, and I avoided all things sex-related, and REALLY couldn’t look in the mirror.  I remember how I talked about putting my hair in a bun and it meant I was ready to take on the day. Now it means I haven’t brushed my hair in a week.  Funny how things change.

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and feel it again. Maybe I will be contacted by a past lover telling me I’m missed. Maybe a platonic friend will show up at my door and give me words of wisdom and hugs that I need from someone other than my spouse.  Or maybe I will learn to love myself again (and not for being pretty, but for being smart and caring and passionate about things I love, and being interesting and fun to be with…this is all I want)….

With hope,



Send dick pics please

I’ve lost that sexy feeling. S.O.S.! MAYDAY I’m going down! Wait, I’m not going down, enough! I need a kick in the ass to get back to taking boob pics and fantasizing about ….things that I used to want all the time.
I’m still getting views so this medium is alive, I hope you can stimulate me back to my senses, or remind me I can do it myself. Big smooshy boob hugs!


Nine Times

Nine times I got really close to pushing Publish

Eight different updates on my life I’ve failed to finally finish, which had,

Seven sexy snippets of stories I wanted to share

Six posts begin with some kind of “Sorry. I should-have stopped by to say, ‘hi'”.

Five Fridays I almost showed you my boobs.

Four Mondays gave me un-funny run-to-the-computer-with-an-idea-only-to-forget-it moments

Three times I started writing and one of my kids started reading over my shoulder

Two of the almost-published posts I felt contained too much serious shit, and worried that you would worry about me.

One finished post

If I could just move my hand to the mouse,

letting go of the need to edit,

connecting with you again,

just publish…


*tap tap* Is this thing on?

Hello? I’ve stumbled upon this place again, I used to frequent here, do you remember me? I think this is where people wrote about sex they have had, or sex they want to have at least, and show photos of their tits.  I remember there was a community feel to this place, I had almost forgotten about it, this wonderful community of supportive and talented and thoughtful and amazing people who care to read my thoughts and words.  They care, even though they don’t really know me.  They care, it wasn’t just about how I looked, whether it be fat or thin pretty or ugly big tits or little, it was my honesty that brought them in.  I wasn’t a spectacle or a specimen, no, they were feeling the struggles and changes and hopefully the fun times along with me.  I forgot.

The fun times will come again, along with it the sharing of them here on my blog, too many opportunities have been knocking and they too cannot be ignored any more.  We need to “live” again and I need to write about the life of a non-monogamous couple.  My husband needs it. I need to get your opinions, too! I need to feel your love.

Now that we established that, I suppose I owe some sort of a re-entry fee? A story?

Last weekend was my birthday, and though we tried a little to make some threesome plans with new friends, I still wanted to go out on the town and have a few drinks and I didn’t know when we could get back home, which made it hard to plan, which meant I really wasn’t that interested in getting a third that night.  I wasn’t opposed to meeting someone while we were out on the town, but that isn’t easy.

We ended up coming home after a few drinks, but the night was still so young! We didn’t really know what to do, there was a party we could go to but I was not feeling that.  So we just hopped in the car and went back out.  As we got out of the car the town was pretty empty, but up the block we hear, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” and it was for me!  We walked toward the woman yelling and it turned out to the be the owner of one of the clubs my husband works with from time to time.

She offers a drink.  I take it! She offers to show us the special room.  We take the chance to see this room we’ve only heard existed, no friends have ever entered or maybe they’ve kept it secret.  Maybe I should keep this a secret?

Okay fast forward then, the room was decorated by hand, in the most amazingly beautiful way.  Lights, bubbles, sound, and the best part, a stripper pole was contained in the small dungeon-like room.   Now I know you are hoping for great detail on what happened next, but I will just say I got a private lesson.  And she was talented.  And there was no sex that went on afterward, but I was wondering if she wanted it.  The end.

I’m a bit rusty on the storytelling.  How about a picture?


Where is my nipple?

IMG_20140605_013510Nipple still hiding!

Oh well, better try for something better tomorrow.  Boobday!  I think I’m in.

With love and “see you tomorrow”,

G (or Greta depending on what I’m trying to achieve)






Friday May 9th is SPRINGBoobday

Spring has arrived full force now, bringing new growth all around and allergies like a mother-fucker.

This year my garden is going to flourish (well, by my newbie standards anyway). I even have bees buzzing helping seedlings break through soil and signaling strawberries to fruit. I have phases and plots and trenches and I did it all. I feel as though I’ve arrived at my happy place. *Sneeze*

This year, instead of taking nude photos and writing about what or who I fucked, I’m spending time nurturing this space in my yard, feeding it, and actually watching it grow right there in front of me. Boring right? I know, but I’m digging the simplicity of life right now.

Please don’t think that I think nude photos and sex writing are anything but great, I love them still!! To prove that, this morning I took some Boobday photos in my garden before it started sprinkling.  I like the way they turned out, the morning light makes my skin look soft and healthy.  Or maybe I glow when I feel at home?





Okay I went back inside to take this one. 😉


Hope you like the tiny peek of my garden.  Let me know what you think and I promise this time I won’t take a million years to respond to comments!