filled and fooled



Let’s get silly

I want to be silly with you

I am going to tickle your funny bone

when you smile and twinkle your eyes

I’m going to melt and smile back

and then I’m going to jump in your lap

and I’m going to kiss you hard

and then I’m going to pull back and look at you in the eyes

holding your cheeks

and say, “thank you.”


(Going through my drafts folder I found this little happy poem from October 15, 2013.  It has been a long time since I’ve been a “blogger” — one with the freedom to draft my thoughts.  Not sure what changed besides my youngest growing to be more and more difficult every day, he is physically hanging on my right arm as I try to type this postscript. 

Release from the drafts, you sweet happy little set of sentences.)


Baby It’s So Cold Outside

Her pallid cheeks meet your graze

seeking warmth and your firmly bent ways

short puffs of breath escape to billow and spin

whirling with yours and taking sail through the cutting wind

You secure her against the hard wood of your back yard birch

decorating the mission, a shrine, a cathedral in your snow white church

she yearned for the frigid lines of the silken twine

though as you tie her tight she shivers and whines

all needs are lost as she is wrapped while her knees knock

she’s naked except for her thin thermal top–then you cut it off

her numb feet press bare petite prints into the winter’s snow

slowly melting but frozen into crystals shattering below

she shifts her weight though she’s utterly trapped in this state

sacrificing to show her love chasing something burning and innate

as you give her puckered blistering nipples hard twists with a grin

your other hand on her mound with your cold gloved finger sink in and spin

her sounds begin to echo back a thunderous crescendo in the dark still night

the primitive response to your fingering out of control as she lifted into a dreamy flight

You cover her mouth watching her amber eyes open wide

and feel her body become limp as she begins to surge from deep inside

meeting crisp air her blissful flow evokes clouds of steam

immediately frozen stings her legs and brings her out of her dream

You take her down gently, she wants to be carried

follow the tracks back to your warm home through the flakes and flurry

wrap her in soft wool, and she rests her head on your shoulder

tell her you love her and it is now all over.


Note:  I’m not sure where this is all coming from, but for some reason I found the idea of being tied up outside naked in the snow a turn-on.  I’ve been having images of it lately, and mostly I see it happening between another couple (so not involving me).  I wanted to release the fantasy by writing a story about it.  But having no knowledge of BDSM I couldn’t even begin such a story (and I usually avoid reading much about BDSM).  So this is easier.  It flows like the hot breaths that escaped her lips as she let go of a massive orgasm while tied in your back yard.  I was hoping I could capture the angle that the submissive is really the person being worshiped rather than doing the worshiping.  I don’t know, am I close at all?


I’m Better Than That…I’m a Superhero!

I’m better than

A drive-in fuck

A drive-by fuck

fuck and run

I’m better than a late night call

then meeting in my bedroom

letting you take only a short suckle and lick before you drive your big cock home…

I am better than that!

I’ve got some complicated feelings bouncing around my head about the threesomes we’ve been having.  Most of our experiences lately have been with Green.  I’m slightly confused about the level of intimacy necessary to make it a fully enjoyable experience for me.  I don’t need to know everything about our partners except for them being drug/disease free, but I also don’t want our partners to come and go without conversation like I’m just a fuck toy either.

It is hard to discuss this with my husband, because we both know that I have the undying love and devotion from him and I shouldn’t need another man to be more than just a warm phallus to me.  If I need more from our experiences, it can be misconstrued as something my husband is not giving me, perhaps in the aftercare.  But, the issue is the way I see myself afterward, I imagine what I must look like through the other man’s eyes.  I feel like I’m seen only as my husband’s property, a gift he is sharing with them.  The men are totally respectful of the rules and boundaries Derek has set, and I used to think it was sexy that he had total control, but lately I just feel…

I’m better than that.

I’m sorry, I don’t want to be seen as ANYONE’s property.

Talk to me like I own my body.

So when I woke up this morning, and found out I’d made’s Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 list (#67 babies!!), I smiled and abandoned those semi-angry feelings for the time being.

Kinkly Top 100 Blogger logo

I will go back to thinking about that shit soon enough…that is what I do after all. 😀

But for now, joy! I’m on a list! The new phone book is here! I’m patting myself on the back at this very moment!

Kinkly was looking for writers who educated and informed, writers who made them laugh or cry, writers who made them think about sex and sexuality in new ways and writers who chose to blow off doors when it came to telling the truth about sex.  The impressions they got after reading a post or two on each nominated blog – combined with the number of votes each blog got – is how they tallied the winners.  Pretty cool that I made it on such a list, right?

Those are the thoughts I will fall asleep to tonight, rather than a worry about how I’m seen as a fuck doll.  Who knows, tomorrow I may be back to finding that sexy anyway…I will let you know.


hotwife poetry

When you knock lightly we invite you into our darkened den

engage in flirtatious banter until I’ve given the signal for it to begin

I hold my breath and slide toward you so very close

I exhale and rest my hand on your leg, and give an initiation toast,

“I think you see that my husband is a generous man,

but I’m in charge now and here is our plan:

‘you both are going to worship these tits and then you’ll go down,

then I want your rod in my mouth…'” but you make an audible sound

I decide that the rest can be left unsaid

so I pull my dress down and my boobs bounce out ahead

an invitation two mouths just couldn’t resist

being a hotwife is great, nipple play instead of being kissed

I take my time but soon enough my panties come down

you take turns fingering my pussy and then you start tonguing my mound

I know you can show my clit the attention she deserves

I will drench you if you make that kitty purr

When I think it’s time we will move to the bedroom

I’m ready to tear off my dress and you’re going to get stripped too

This is where you learn how hungry I am for cock

and how he loves to stand close by and watch

we’ll get to the point where your primitive urges to fuck are beyond growing

you need my wet cunt wrapped around you tight as a glove, slippery, sliding and slowing

you might not even notice my husband standing by and watching his prize

keep in mind as you pound me that we don’t meet to connect, so avoid my eyes

I’m just fine with our relationship being limited to salacious exchanges of bodily fluids

but I know it is only natural for you to try to see beyond my clenched two lids

curious who is this woman with the pulsing cunt of your dreams

the one acting with you in the best ever porn scene

I’m just a hot wife spraying you with lubricious affection

washing you with my juices, covering your midsection

a woman who enjoys a good hard filling of the insides

and I’m very driven to make you spray cum all over my stomach and thighs

so I wrap my legs around you and open to look you in the eyes

your gaze returns and I didn’t expect to smile

this is not what I wanted, but it has been a while

a chain reaction begins as I tighten my grip

sending jolts of electricity through our bodies tip to tit

we grind down close, so hard, and come together

pull out and rip off the condom, please spurt on me forever

my husband furiously jerks while aiming at my swollen nips

I smile at you again and he erupts raining white all over my tits




lassoed by the sun, bound to a glassy etheric plane

sending dusty whispers to the moon

of the unrequited love gravity will always bring


tonight her spark dared to ignite his knowing crescent grin

she had to try, after this moment passes things will never be the same


I like this image I found when looking for sunset photos (sunsets make me really happy).  This one struck me because not only is it a nice sunset, but Venus and the moon are present in the heavy looking night sky.  They meet often but right now they are closer than usual because of orbits and all that science-y stuff.  Something about this photo made me feel this lovely energy, it awakened a little trickle of creativity.  But when I got to writing, and then having to take care of other responsibilities the poem evolved, and then was chopped in half, and then it evolved again, and got chopped again (by the time I publish it may just be one or two words).  Then I sort of gave up.  What happened?  Shit!  Seriously, this creative process is challenging.

Venus, you inspire me, but only after dark.

La Roux – Scream Ravey Remix


The slow dance sway builds

swirling words with unique electronic melodies moves our bodies rhythmically

five minutes here then we start again

as the shrill notes pierce us, sew us, intertwine us

I am feeling light– wedged four inches taller, held securely with broad arms, corset strung, forgetting to breath

The drums come and I give in a little more, feeling your gaze deeply through my layers

We float on, for almost an eternity, adrift in sweat and heavy breathing, it is like the first time again

Then the beat breaks free and I know what it means to move, our two bodies now are one vehicle to a higher being, two hearts sharing gallons of blood one drop at a time

This is bigger than us, it is her and him too, her and her , those guys, them over there, we feel this together.

On this dance floor we join in flights, feelings, trapped breaths and sewn hearts

And I couldn’t have it any other way