filled and fooled



The VBA: finalmente

A few months ago, I was graced with The Versatile Blogger award by two very special bloggers.  As some of you know I love getting awards but then I got busy, depressed, busy again, oversexed, undersexed, overwhelmed, busy again and then here we are.

But I realize the importance of acknowledging praise, and then passing it on to my own special selection of blogs.  That really is what helps us bloggers keep going, the positive response to our work in the form of comments and awards, the community feedback is muy importante to me.  See how versatile I am, I switched up languages within a sentence!

So here we go:


I received notification that Southern Sir at Southern Sir’s Place had awarded me a Versatile Blogger Award (now a few months ago, sorry again) and I was a bit blown away (still am).  He listed me among some amazing writers, and though he has always been here for me in a supportive way through likes and comments, I just didn’t know I could potentially make his list!  But I guess that is what the award is about, you want to highlight other bloggers that don’t necessarily blog the same way or about the same things you do.

His blog is about trust, vulnerability, love, companionship and being present in your relationships.  He turns readers into tongue-tied wet-pantied dreamers wishing they could show their gratitude for his words in any way possible.  Yes, I think you should visit his place when you get a moment.

A week after Southern Sir made me feel giddy with pride at getting a blogging award (seriously, it makes me giddy),  I was given the award by Panty Parade at Off Go The Panties a week later!  This woman is climbing the ranks in the sex blogging world,  writes for a wide variety of sites and is about to be a published erotica author.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but that is pretty fucking cool she thought of me as being award-worthy.

Shut-up anyone who thinks of these awards nothing more than chain-letters.

Awards are fun and good, heh, and in case you wondered, they come with rules.  The rules, straight from the VBA site that I never knew existed until now:

If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

  •  Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.

  •  Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.

  •  Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly. ( I would add, pick blogs or bloggers that are excellent!)

  •  Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to this site.

  •  Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

Here we go!

First of all, I realize I have a problem getting time to keep up with all my favorite blogs.  This award requires 15 nominees and I can be honest that I do not read that many anymore. Of the blogs I regularly read I’ve given them so many awards already I’m not even going to nominate them below.  Check out my blogroll to get to know my favorites.

My nominees for this round of VBA’s are as follows and in no particular order:

rougedmount – because her blog is an intense and passionate journey through a changing perspective on her unchanging and stubborn husband.  Not sure how she would like this description because definitely there is more to her blog, but I enjoy her introspective posts on what work she puts in her side of the relationship.  I want to give her a huge pat on the back for being so strong.

Thirteen Years In – this is another favorite blog of mine because of similarities between the blogger and myself, we even have the same age (for a few more months ;)) and personal interests outside of the blogging world.  Her blog is an honest snapshot of her life and marriage, and her descriptions of the sex her and M have are so very hot.  Speaking of hot, so are her photos!

‘Tis Personal-  I think I’d describe this blog in similar ways as Anisa’s (Thirteen Years In) but it is so different.  There is a journey being shared by husband and wife here, a journey of falling in love again after depression threatened their partnership.  This is recovery, right here in written word, her side.  She is discovering her needs to be submissive to Him, and how very important these needs are to the success of her marriage.

Thinking with my Head – B is ‘Tis’s husband.  He reminds me of my husband sometimes, the way he loves his wife with everything he has in him.  In fact that latest post about addiction, I’ve been told that same thing by my hubby.  B’s writing is sexy at times, poetic, passionate and loving, and oh so very interesting because of his deep introspection about depression and what it took from him and his family for so many years.  The great news is that life will continue to present them with opportunity for growth and change and especially enjoyment of one another.  It is a beautiful thing to read.

Eric Keys – Eric’s writing is pretty badass.  He turns people on in immeasurable ways with his erotic fantasies with edge.  All I know is that instead of writing this post I’d rather be reading his succubus story.  I’ll be keeping that window open until the story has been digested fully.

Cara Thereon – I know I’ve probably given her awards before, but I just love her blog because I’m witness to a young woman’s sexual journey and it turns me on and makes me cheer for her.  I’ve never been witness to someone so driven to accomplish a “before 30” type list, even though it is just a small part of her posts, it is such a sexy theme.

Poetic Passions– You’ll find the most sensual and erotic poetry on this blog; and I didn’t mean to steal the tagline it just describes the blog so perfectly. The words flow so smoothly and are so full of need/passion/love/lust it just hits you in the right spots at the right times.

chicpress–  The writing on this blog is so touching and passionate, it speaks to the memories of feeling such love that it could only be accompanied by pain.  As a voyeur of forbidden love and a lover of poetry, this blog is such a great read so far!  I can’t wait to get caught up on the archives.

Confessions of a Reformed Player– Hot, hot, hot fucking hot!  I feel like I’m eavesdropping on the guys in the lockeroom telling sordid and sometimes true tales of their pasts when I read these stories.  This man has had some experiences he’d like to share with you, but be aware all the women he’s fucked have been hot and he’s obviously endowed with some generous advantages to gaining their attention.  And when I get his attention it gives me a nice little tingly feeling, yum!

Her Secret Library– Nero, I just love your smut!  Like I’ve said before, I see how much you love your wife, and it’s so hot!  I would love to meet you two with my husband and a few other guys and give her that gangbang for real…or is that too forward?  What I really want is to turn her around, let her know how to use you the right way so you get yours and she stops reading erotica and flicking her bean instead of blowing or fucking you.

I’m going to stop at 10…fuck it…I’m sure you are here for this next part anyway…right?:

7 Things About Myself

Another post where I tell you “things about myself.”  What is this, some kind of a sexy personal blog? Oh yeah, I guess it is.   I really do like doing these lists because I think in real-life I tend to be more of a listener and don’t get much of a chance to talk endlessly about myself.  If you want to really get to know me, you can click on awards to go back to other award posts, each one requires you to list interesting bits of information about yourself.  Because of a recent Twitter discussion I’m going to do this list a bit differently:

7 Things you might notice about me when we meet

1) I’m tall.   Not WNBA tall, but I’m not a small person, at all.  My feet are large enough to keep my large frame balanced. When/if you notice my toes, I’m probably wearing some pretty pink polish.

2) I like to smile with deep eye contact a lot.  I have a pretty smile but my teeth are not straight, despite spending half my adolescence going to orthodontist appointments.

3) I don’t mind if you take a peek at my cleavage, I made an effort to frame my chest with some pretty jewelry or a nice blouse for that reason.

4) I talk like a California Girl (meaning everyone else but me has an accent).  I might use the words “like” more than others, and “hella” or “waaay” “cool” “awesome” and if I have a drink, slight chance I will let a “dude” fly, I’m sorry in advance.

5) I have a big butt.  I guess I’ve shown it here on the blog a few times, but you don’t know how big it really is until you see it.  I’m always talking about the big boobs here on the blog, but you might think I should have given a little more attention to the big round bootie.  I’m just shy about it, but now that big asses are all the rage, I’m going to let that go.

6) I can’t help but to look at attractive people longer, I’m like an infant.  I enjoy the thrill of the flirt, and I enjoy the different types of beauty in men and women. If you are attractive, I might be more attentive.  But being attractive could just mean being confident.  I mean, just don’t be mad at me if I look away when we are engaged in a conversation.

7) Having said the above, this is the most important thing I hope you notice about me: I love everyone and everything.  I hope you notice that I see beauty in light and in darkness.  My faucet is open and my spirit is abundant and free.  I may feel down sometimes but it is because I take on EVERYTHING, good and bad.  I want to be responsible for your happiness, and for theirs, and for theirs.  I hope you don’t see that though my faucet is open, the flow has become almost a trickle.  But you know, just meeting you, one time, has broadened my spirit and brought even more love into my heart, and has filled me just a bit more.

So by that I mean, I’m a tree-hugging hippie and I look like it too.


Happy Hump Day Folks!


I’m Better Than That…I’m a Superhero!

I’m better than

A drive-in fuck

A drive-by fuck

fuck and run

I’m better than a late night call

then meeting in my bedroom

letting you take only a short suckle and lick before you drive your big cock home…

I am better than that!

I’ve got some complicated feelings bouncing around my head about the threesomes we’ve been having.  Most of our experiences lately have been with Green.  I’m slightly confused about the level of intimacy necessary to make it a fully enjoyable experience for me.  I don’t need to know everything about our partners except for them being drug/disease free, but I also don’t want our partners to come and go without conversation like I’m just a fuck toy either.

It is hard to discuss this with my husband, because we both know that I have the undying love and devotion from him and I shouldn’t need another man to be more than just a warm phallus to me.  If I need more from our experiences, it can be misconstrued as something my husband is not giving me, perhaps in the aftercare.  But, the issue is the way I see myself afterward, I imagine what I must look like through the other man’s eyes.  I feel like I’m seen only as my husband’s property, a gift he is sharing with them.  The men are totally respectful of the rules and boundaries Derek has set, and I used to think it was sexy that he had total control, but lately I just feel…

I’m better than that.

I’m sorry, I don’t want to be seen as ANYONE’s property.

Talk to me like I own my body.

So when I woke up this morning, and found out I’d made’s Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 list (#67 babies!!), I smiled and abandoned those semi-angry feelings for the time being.

Kinkly Top 100 Blogger logo

I will go back to thinking about that shit soon enough…that is what I do after all. 😀

But for now, joy! I’m on a list! The new phone book is here! I’m patting myself on the back at this very moment!

Kinkly was looking for writers who educated and informed, writers who made them laugh or cry, writers who made them think about sex and sexuality in new ways and writers who chose to blow off doors when it came to telling the truth about sex.  The impressions they got after reading a post or two on each nominated blog – combined with the number of votes each blog got – is how they tallied the winners.  Pretty cool that I made it on such a list, right?

Those are the thoughts I will fall asleep to tonight, rather than a worry about how I’m seen as a fuck doll.  Who knows, tomorrow I may be back to finding that sexy anyway…I will let you know.


These Super Wonderful Blogger Awards

I love them, I do.

Welcome to my latest award post.  I know it looks like it will be long, but I promise you I manage to infuse it with interesting sexy things wherever I can.  If you have been around a while you might have noticed I accept every award offered to me.  Even though it might take me a while to get around to passing them on, I commit to always doing my best to keep the blogging awards going.  Chain letters for bloggers, I’ve read.  Maybe to some, but I’m all about showing positivity to others, and passing on praise.  Its free, it makes me feel good.  Feelings are good.  I’m writing about my feelings. Heh.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Back in mid-April, the awesome Slave Redefined gave me an award!  I was/am new to her blog but its quite enjoyable and always thought-provoking!  And I’m happy she thought of me when she did her 15 nominations.  I love getting awards that I’ve never gotten before.  She gave me the Very Inspiring Blogger Award :


Here are the rules:

I have to agree to state 7 facts about myself and to suggest 15 fellow bloggers who deserve the award too.  Then the usual stuff that comes with awards, thank the person who gave you the award, post the image of it somewhere on your blog, write a post, inform the people you are nominating…

More Facts about G:

Fact 1 – Golden Grahams is my most favorite cereal of all time.  Nothing else comes close (although, ironically, I don’t mind the store/generic versions of the cereal.)  This makes me want to mention that I think all generic brands are fabulous.  Some things you don’t want to compromise on, like mayo, maybe even ketchup if you are my family, but most of the time the store brand out performs the expensive brand.

Fact 2 – Camping near a lake with my family happily resting or relaxing sounds like the perfect vacation.  I think we are going to do this soon.  What I would LOVE is to get the kids all tucked into sleeping bags in the tent, and then sneak down to the moonlit lake for some skinny dipping with my husband.  And I would wish for him to take photos of me floating in the water, tits bobbing like…what are those called, buoys?

Fact 3 – I use castor oil mixed with grapeseed oil to cleanse my face.  This is far less expensive and chemical laden than the cleansers most think are imperative.  I haven’t used soap on my face in over a year.  My skin is pretty soft and clear, so I believe, I believe in the oil cleansing method.

Fact 4 – I still can’t figure out where to punctuate when I use parentheses (someone please HELP ME!)!  Truthfully, I’ve read up on comma use, semi-colons, and parentheses, but I’m not finding the answer.  Hmm, in a year or two I will probably learn it again via helping with homework.

Fact 5My first vibrator was an old upright vacuum cleaner…seriously I just wrote that.

Fact 6 – I get off a little on embarrassing myself like I just did by admitting that I used to use the vibrations from my old vacuum to buzz my clit into blissful orgasm.  I think I may have discussed humiliation before but I don’t remember.

Fact 7 – I really do enjoy hard work outside that makes me sweat buckets.  I don’t think I like pulling weeds until I get into it, and then I realize it is so nice to work hard and see progress.

Alrighty, now the hard part is narrowing my list of bloggers to nominate down.  I love you all!  How can I pick just 15?  Everyone inspires me in a different way!

Normal Deviations

Christopher De Voss

A True Unfolding

A Dissolute Life Means

Love Sex and Marriage

Unraveling MariMar

Stare Into The Abyss

Pervertically Virtuous

The Wistful Sinner

Cara Thereon

Beatnik Du Jour

Panty Parade


Her Secret Library

And non-blogging though he probably should be:

Nick – You are the best commenter and your insight/knowledge/tips found here on my blog, as well as many other bloggers in this community is invaluable and certainly inspiring.   Thank you for blessing me with your comments over these past few months, I’m sure if you had a blog I’d be all over it.  But for now I will stick to being inspired by your comments.

Sensual Blogging Awards

Nate nominated me for the Sensual Blogging Award at the beginning of this month.  This award he recently resurrected over on his informative and sexy blog, Speaking Out on Nate, makes me feel totally slutty sensual.  I’m sure most of you know who Nate is, his avatar is that cute monkey and he blogs on the topic of Kinky Fuckery (you coined that term right, Nate?) and Building a Better Blogger.  Please check out his blog if you haven’t already!


So sensual!

Here are the rules:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated AWARDED you with a link back to their blog. Thank you Nate!
  2. Copy and paste this fine award on your blog. Yup, did that
  3. Answer 7 “sensual” questions posed by the blogger who awarded you this fine award.
  4. Create or borrow 7 “sensual” questions for the bloggers you award this fine award to to answer.
  5. Select 7 “sensual” bloggers to award this fine award to.

“7″ Sensual Questions for those AWARDED

Someone is attempting to seduce you over dinner, what is the dinner? 

Sushi comes to mind, it is light and exhilarating to eat.  It brings out an adventurousness, and then if you pair it with sake bombs seduction comes easily.

Which song or songs get/put you in a sensual-sexual mood?  

I’m a really big fan of dubstep.  I suppose it puts me in a hardcore-sexual mood.  Sensual-sexual could be more trance I guess, electronica?  Portishead used to be a big favorite of mine before I met my husband.

Everyone has a scent that takes them back to a fond moment, what is your scent and the moment?

The smell of coconut always evokes a plethora of positive feelings/memories, but it just makes me feel care-free and like I’m having an endless summer.  And summer is always filled with hot sex.

A sensuous-sexual activity that you want more of? (backrubs, kissing, etc.)

I get it all, but more foot massage, always more.

A sexual fantasy that you have not indulged, but would if the situation was “perfect” for you (no guilt, travel taken care of, etc.)

A certain quarterback and I meet up in the city for a night of hard fucking. So basically fucking a celebrity is the fantasy bucket list item,  since I love my hubby so much he can watch and direct the action (I picture this quarterback as smooth on the field and inexperienced in bed.)

A favorite gift given to you by a partner or lover?

Diamond stud earrings.  It was like a rite of passage to me.  I was a big fan of The Breakfast Club, and diamond stud earrings are what all the rich popular girls had…

One piece of sensuous advice that you would give to anyone?

Trust your partner/mate/fuckbuddy/friend/husband/wife/lover/etc. when they tell you that your body is beautiful.  Trust them when they acknowledge parts of you that are incredible.  Believe in them, you owe it to them, and yourself.  If you never believe them, they will start to wonder why you are even with them.

Bonus Question: I am in the mood to read a single paragraph of erotica: What can you create with the following prompts: An apple orchard, a robot with a limp, sunset, and at least one famous person (alive or dead)?

Saturday was the first time I saw her.  I was limping past the old apple orchard as I always do on Saturdays (except this time the limp was caused by the robot shoes my boss made, those damn things gave me such blisters), and there she was.  Her beautiful ass high in the air as she stooped to pick fallen apples. Usually rows of trees pass endlessly, boring me to death on my walk home, but tonight I sensed I had met Her, that girl from my sunset dream.  I had to warn her about the apples not being good to eat so I stepped toward her.  She was startled by my intrusion, but when she saw how I was dressed her face beamed with a smile straight from my dreams.  Then I noticed it was Taylor Swift smiling back at me.  “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.  Have a nice day!”  I walked away quickly.

(I meant this to be funny because she writes so many break-up songs he didn’t want to waste his time.)

Questions for my Sensual 7 bloggers:

  1. What would be the best date to get you in a sensual mood?
  2. What is your cocktail of choice, if you do drink? Does drinking put you in a sensual mood?
  3. Have you ever danced so closely with a stranger that you sensed them being turned on? (I know this is harder for the gentlemen to answer)
  4. Would you have sex with a person you met four hours ago?
  5. Would you have sex with a person over ten years younger or older than you?
  6. Could you have sex with a person that you never see (think: you are blindfolded and a trusted partner set up a rendevoux with someone they thought you would like, someone who technically meets your standards, yet you will never know if that is true, you have to just trust.)
  7. Would your spouse ever accept an indecent proposal?

BONUS:  Flex your creative muscles by creating a sensual paragraph using something that is red, something that is whipped, and the character has to be surprised by something.

Sensual 7 Bloggers:

Pussy (of Cliterary Review)

Swing Lifestyle Blog

The Wistful Sinner

Mrs. Fever


Lola (Secret Thots)

Matthew Vett


And then I was given the Sensual Blogging Award by Her Secret Library a few days later.  I love his writing style, that honesty, just enough personal information that makes you feel that yearning, sexy and funny.  Just go read his award post if anything, thank you!


I’m doubling up on the sensual this month

Since you know the rules here is the other set of questions I’m answering:
Questions For Second Award (provided by Her Secret Library):
Have you been nominated/won this Award before? (Discuss)
Yes, I recently accepted this award (^) and I enjoyed it immensely.
Which song or songs put you in a sensual/sexual mood?
Songs can evoke such strong memories.  One time, in the middle of the night I woke up to hear a Stone Temple Pilots song on the radio (what a different world we live in) and it gave me such a state of bliss because I was safe in my warm bed, that every time I hear it forevermore I will get a calm happy feeling.  I almost smell my old attic bedroom and twin bed.
What type of movies (Hollywood) or videos (porn!) put you in a sensual/sexual mood?
Great question.  I can’t even say Magic Mike put me in the mood, though it was close.  Movies don’t really do it for me, sexually.   I haven’t watched porn in a while but each type seems to only work for me once.  I tried (watching) lesbian porn once and now it does nothing for me when I watch it, etc.
What do you do to intitiate something sensual/sexual?
My poor hubby is going to say “yawn on the couch until I ask you?”  That does happen, and I’m not usually super down to initiate something.  He knows I’m usually happy to play with him, but don’t usually go hop between his legs and pull out his cock for a bj.  I should.  I really know I should just go sit on his lap and kiss him and beg him to please fill me with his cock so I can think straight again.
What’s the ONE thing guaranteed to kill your sensual/sexual mood stone dead?
Bad smells.
Is sensuality a male or female trait? (discuss!)
I see it as a trait of both male and female.  I see it as taking the time to enjoy your partner and yourself.  Soft, slow, smooth moments rather than the energetic taking, hot-breathed need.  It can include kinks, it can just be vanilla; I just think it needs to be slow and deliberate.
Name 2 public figures who you think would be sensual lovers (not necessarily hot fucks) and explain why.
Like with each other or with me?  That is so hard, I really tend not to fantasize about public figures, even with my ongoing quarterback joke of a fantasy.  I always picture “suits” as having a secret naughty side, I love the idea of a secret service guy fucking the (of age) daughter of a public figure.

Bonus: Write an erotic paragraph including the following prompts: masturbation, toys, voyeur, empty house, mirror ball…

“I wish I had my toy with me, I would put on a little show for you.”  It was a bold statement coming from an 18 year old, barely touched by real life in this podunk ghost town.  I suspect “masturbation” had been part of her vocabulary for less time than I had owned these jeans.  She was bold enough that I had no doubt she knew what she was talking about, though; fuck, this girl made my cock ache.  She flipped her brown ponytail back over her shoulder then lifted herself on to the outdated tile counter.  Sitting across from me legs open, such a gorgeous sight in this empty house strewn with trash, red solo cups and even a mirror ball.  I glanced around the home, astonished at my luck knocking at this door today.  I’m sure she just doesn’t want her parents to find out what she did to the new house, as long as I get my job done they don’t have to find out.  Fine, I will just stand here and watch, whether I’m the voyeur or she is the exhibitionist, I need this.

Another set of questions for my Sensual 7 (but this is really to be answered by anyone reading this):

But really, if you do a post to accept your award, you can answer the 7 Sensual Questions above, or just state 7 sensual facts about yourself.
This round’s Sensual 7 Bloggers:

One Lovely Blog Award

Just a few days ago Matthew Vett gave me the One Lovely Blog Award.  What I appreciate most about this blog award is that I have not seen it circulated around the Mature-Themed/Gutter Blogger community before.  Matthew is an incredible writer, his imagination is endless, and it seems like great ideas sprout in his mind like wildflowers in spring.  Go see him, too!


The Rules:

  • Add the “One Lovely Blog Award” image to your post
  • Share seven things about you
  • Pass the award on to seven nominees
  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Inform the nominees by posting on their blogs

Seven things about me:

My housekeeping must be atrocious (houseguest fallout)

But I’m an excellent cook (though they never mentioned that)

I like to write early in the morning, I have always been a morning person

And at night my eyes get too tired to use the computer, or I should be fucking instead of writing

I should wear glasses, but I don’t, except when I dress as a teacher who fucks her student

I still pluck out the gray hairs that I find, a race I won’t win

I fear aging, fear I didn’t do enough when I was “young” (however I still take time to enjoy now, or try to)

These Seven Bloggers are Lovely:


Miss Four Eyes

Shackled and Crowned

Benjamin Prewitt


The Hook

Pirate Horizon

Matthew Vett, thank you so much for sharing this award with me.  Your tips, encouragement, stories, all that you do, it has been so valuable to me.  So glad that our paths have crossed in this wickedly fun way.

And when I get back from the store I will let all 36 award recipients know they are special (need that freeze time machine now please).  If you are interested in checking out my other awards posts you can click here.


The Liebster Award- Pretty New Design

Back in mid-April I was awarded this pretty Liebster AwardEyage is a very creative blogger living in South Korea.  His posts are always entertaining and enlightening.  You should check out his blog!


Rules for accepting the award:

1.  Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog and link back to the blogger who presented this award to you.

Thank you so much Eyage! I’m touched that you would give me this award!

2.  List 11 random facts about yourself.

Heh, this is getting harder.  Favorite color is green, eyes are brown, turning 36 soon, don’t wear heels, love skirts, warm colors look better on me, humor turns me on, I like xxxx’s cause they make me melt a little, same with getting called baby (don’t judge I like it because it makes me feel taken care of), I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up, I love Shel Silverstein poems because they capture attention and make us laugh, peanut butter and honey is a winning combo in my eyes and belly.

3.  Answer the 11 questions from the nominator.

Fuck, I wish I had time to do this.  Please just go visit his blog because he already answered these questions about himself, and it is interesting!  I’m so much more calm about the whole Korea thing now that I read a few posts of his.  Go, go now please!

4.  Present the Liebster Blog Award to 11 bloggers you feel deserved to be noticed.

I’m sorry, I have to skip this step.  I trust the Liebster shall continue on even without my 11 nominees.

5.  Create 11 questions for your nominees.

Which leads me to skipping this step.  Sorry!  Something has to give here.

6.  Leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been chosen.

*whistling and waving you on* Nothing to see here…

7.  Copy and paste the blog award on your blog.

Done! Yes! Easy peasy…


Satisfaction (at least one step closer)

I know its wrong, but I’m going to assume that all men love red meat.  A big juicy hamburger, melted cheese on top, resting on a puffy kinda-sweet bun, further topped with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, sauces, I don’t know what! I know you can make it fancy, and the beauty of this bevy of toppings, you put it on yourself.

I mean you put it on your own burger, not on your own body.

But I can make the burger.  I can also get coals just right to cook that burger to perfection.  And I will tend to it on the grill just like it deserves.  Then I will lay it upon that puffy bun right in front of you, nudging you toward the toppings area.  And I will then smile a sultry loving smile when you flash that satisfied grin.

Here is how I make your burger:

G’s Turkey Burgers That Taste Good

1.5 lb ground turkey

1 lb pork sausage breakfast rolls

1 yellow onion (plus oil to sautee in)

1 egg

spices and special seasonings

1. So you start the process of satisfaction by cutting that onion up into super teeny tiny pieces.  Like you dice the hell out of it, I think its called “mince” them.  You don’t want the pieces to be big enough that its really visible in the burger (especially if you have kids) it is the onion flavor we are looking for.  After you have that onion really tiny, you cook it in oil of some sort (I use canola, because no reason) until it is translucent.  By now, the house smells great, almost as good as chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, good.

2. Let the cooked onions cool in the pan while you dump the meat, egg, and seasoning in a big bowl (I’m being vague on the seasonings on purpose because really, the sausage gives you enough seasoning.  But make sure you put salt and pepper in, because everything that isn’t sweet needs salt and pepa.)

3. Now I really do want you to play the song.

4. With the song playing in your head you start to mix all your stuff in the bowl together.  Take your rings off and get in there, have a good time with the meat! Push it good!  Mix it up, hold that meat tight and work it girl! Work that meat in your hands until it is nice and firm, about to explode…. wait wrong post.

5. Add those onions and keep mixing it up.  Once it is all mixed, pat it gently and lovingly into little round titty shapes.  I just mean form them into patties.

6. In patty form, put them in the fridge and get your coals going.

7.  Lifeofalovergirl gave me this award a week ago.  My recipe is my sneaky attempt to do another award post.


Her post was really cute, you should totally check out her blog.  My first thought was, “FUCK YES! I love awards!” And then I got really worried because I didn’t feel that versatile.  I know I have parallels in my thinking, for instance, I feel like the act of lighting a cigarette is super sexy but smoking is super gross.  Like giving and getting spankings…Stuff like that, yeah…

But like I said, I love awards.  So I made myself more versatile by becoming a cooking blog for a minute so I could graciously accept the nomination.

Here is a list of the “official rules”.

• Thank the person who gave you this award.

Thank you lifeofalovergirl!

• Include a link to their blog.


• Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.

See down there at the left hand side of the bottom of my blog?  It has all my new follows.  Right near that place you can put your email address so you can easily get emailed my new posts? Pssst, that way you don’t have to come back and check for new posts, you get to be a VIP!

• Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award

Oh shit, really?  Okay, you can totally peek my list of new follows but I’m not necessarily going to post on all their blogs that they have won this award.  I barely know them!  I’m going to think about this a bit.  Seeing as how I secretly coveted awards, there might be others that appreciate getting them out of the blue too.  Darn it, okay people give me time and I will link to 15 of those new follows and tell them they are being nominated.

• Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

1.  I have a garden that consists only of strawberries and they are abundant right now!

2.  I enjoy all types of music, but the last concert I saw was reggae.

3.  I have a new favorite liquor, Honey Whiskey.

4.  I want to lose 20 pounds by June 15th. (It is good for me to put goals out there, plus I’m more versatile when I say stuff like that)

5.  I want to learn a dance and join a flash mob within the next year.

6.  I get nervous when I talk on the phone and giggle a lot.

7.  I have a lot of love to give, and I am special, and wonderful, and gorgeous, and all those things I say about you in your blogs.  Except I forget that sometimes, and become my harshest critic.  I am human.




I’m calling you out!

Hey You Bloggers,
I’m on to you.  I’m starting to think there are “professionals” among us.  “Professional what?” You should ask.  I’m not talking about escorts, companions, or sex workers (although I do follow a few blogs with that content);  I am talking about Sex Therapists, Human Sexuality Professors, best-selling erotica authors, world-traveling erotic photographers, sex-column writers, simply put,  these people have advanced degrees in sex.  And I think they blog among us.

I see myself as a wet pig-tailed awkward little freshman while they comprise the cool senior class; when I graduate to sophomore I’m not sure.  I guess that is all up to me.  All I know is that I’m glad I can hide in the wings and watch them, learn from them.  Don’t laugh. Sure, I have very little inhibition, sexually at least, and I’m not afraid to share a good deal about myself photographically or otherwise; but…I still feel so innocent.  At least I’m willing to try everything (or work on trying it at least) and I feel maybe my advancement to sophomore class is coming soon.

So, I read a lot of blogs.  I try to read all that I follow but it requires long periods of catching up time that I don’t have.  Anyway, I’m finding that my favorite posts are informative based on that person’s experience rather than research, they are sexually arousing, and the post is full of colorful words.  Perhaps they are introducing me to a new kink, or presenting new data on sexual trends.  Maybe they are portraying a relationship dynamic I’ve never considered.  To be able to write something that makes people feel like they learned something yet they are wildly turned-on; this is my goal.

Pervertically Virtuous, authored by Z, gives me something to strive for, and she’s only been  in the WP world for like a month!  She knows what she wants and she gets it, there is no other way.  The way she writes about her experiences is riveting, informative, and provocative.  She can write sex, and she lives it, no doubt.   She is a women who has chosen to do things her way and she has no hang-ups over it.

So now that you see what a blogger-boner I have for her, you can just imagine how excited I was when she nominated me for the Blogger She’d Like to Fuck award!


Ha ha, I tricked you! You didn’t know you were reading another award post!

Guess what?! There are rules:

1. Thank the blogger that awarded you and if you like, post this most cool award in your post.

I really think it is fantastic that Z nominated me.  She is fucking sexy you guys (take her header as a clue, that is really her!) In fact, she is so sexy she probably modeled for this award way back in 201* when it was created.   I don’t know if you have been to her blog yet, I put a few links up there.  You know one thing I like about her that is totally unfair to a lot of other bloggers? I like that she’s been around a small enough time that I could read every single post back to the beginning.  It is nice to find a blog of that quality and feel like you’ve been there from the get-go.

2. Post 5 sexy suggestions for other bloggers to do, try, or think about.

  • sex under a waterfall or in a meadow strewn with buttercups
  • sex at the Playboy Mansion with a model
  • sex with with the Rugby team
  • sex with someone at least 15 years younger or older than you or both
  • sex on a hotel balcony overlooking a pool filled with people

Okay, really.  This shouldn’t have been so hard for me that I had to make it a joke…  Can I really call myself an authority on enough things that I could suggest you try or think about it? Maybe a better use of my time is to forge my path to advancing to sophomore or even junior status. I’m going to make a five bullet-point sexy bucket list (which still works because you should try it or think about it too):

  • group sex- where everyone feels equally attended to, secure, and appreciated
  • stranger sex/gangbang- maybe that Rugby team running joke isn’t so funny?
  • strap-on sex- I need to feel total control of a situation just once.  Giving only because I want to, maybe if they beg but I’m going to make them beg.
  • outdoor sex- I have not done this enough in my life, even it is camping in the middle of nowhere or sex in a crowded parking lot.  I want that heaving passionate need to just get it done right then and there.
  • blindfolded fantasizing using toys or not- I don’t know, I just thought of this one, never really passed my mind before.  But it would be fun to be blindfolded and made to lay still, not knowing what or who was going to be penetrating me.

3. Post a link to your sexiest blog post and why you think it is your sexiest blog.

Oh man, this is hard.  I wonder if anyone has figured out I’m sort of at a blogging crossroads here?  It has to do with photos.  My first Finger Me Friday post was the sexiest, it got the most hits and the photos came out just how I wanted them.  But the problem is, I wanted my writing to be sexy or the sexiest.  So how about this, I’m going to point back to that fireman story I’ve left hanging now for oh, almost the whole time I’ve been here, I’ve been promising part two for over five months.  No wonder I’m not getting the warm affectionate glances from firemen at the grocery store these days… Should I even say that I still plan to write it?

4. Nominate 5 other sexy bloggers and Let your nominees know they’re sexy.

Sexy Sluts** Road Trip 2013 (SSRT 2013)

Starting on the west coast, this summer.  After renting an RV I will proceed to pick up MariMar.  Rules will be worked out further but most likely they will include something like, “shirts optional” or “what happens on SSRT stays on SSRT”.  We shall head east, picking up any bloggers (I’m sorry but I think one of the rules is also “vagina required***”) who want to join, Hyacinth I’m talking to you (nice pussy by the way) and Cara I don’t know if we are passing by you, but get on girl.  We are heading your way Scarlett! And we are swinging by LSAM’s place and swooping her up for sure.

More details to come, and if we could meet up with lovely C, we would, but I’m afraid we’d have to have a boat, right?

By the way, the ladies above are my nominees for the BILF award.  Four simple fun rules, if you have time, the award is yours.  If I missed anyone I’ve been flirting with, I’m sorry, I guess I am a slut.  Let me know I would be happy to edit the post.

* I don’t know when this award was created but I’ve seen in on posts going back to at least 2011.  Recently, it was resurrected by Nate of Speaking out on Nate.

** I’m using slut for fun here, and I’d never want to offend anyone by using this term.  I know that I have a high moral standing, and am a good person.  For a great post about not embracing that term, see here.

***no offense if you have a penis.


How Does A Good Girl Get Sinful?


Simply sinful…that doesn’t sound much like me, I’m just an innocent good girl.  But some of you seem to think I might have a naughty side.  Is it me blogging about our threesomes in great detail, even if it was totally TMI?   Is it my love of masturbation, reading about it, seeing others do it, doing it myself?  Is it the kinks I haven’t even exposed to you (or myself) yet?  Oh, I know, it is because I like showing off my titties, a lot.  But there isn’t anything wrong with that!

I’m positive Seamus knows I like it rough and that I might crave a few spankings once in a while to keep my mind-body connection sharp, but aren’t all girls like that?  Perhaps he has picked up on my slight sitophilia (I will let you google it.)  I know he doesn’t know about that one time I fucked a…oh maybe I should save it for another post.

Always the courtesan, I just have this need to please, a need to perform to your wishes, a need to make you keep coming back for more.  So, I shall complete every sinful step in his process even if I don’t think of myself as sinful:

1. Post the image (or a much more skillfully designed version) on your blog.

— I could not do any better, I thought it was cute 😉

2. Thank and link back to the blogger who nominated you.

— I did it, but I will do it again, thank you for nominating me cutie.

3. Give examples of how you broke each of the 7 deadly sins.

– See below.

4. Nominate 7 bloggers and link to their sites.

–This is always the hardest part (see below).

5. Tell those bloggers about their nomination in the comment thread of one of their posts.

— On my “to-do list.”

This award taking is fun business.  With #1 and #2 down, I’m stuck at #3, seeing as how I’m such an angel.  So I skip to #4 right now.  Ah fuck!  This one is hard, too.  A lot of bloggers in this community don’t seem to like the award thing.  I will just nominate them anyway, this new award is fun, and I think everyone should go read The Wistful Sinner.

I just had to reblog his last entry, he delicately expressed the words I long to some day so skillfully submit here.

My first four nominations go to some bloggers that have been around a lot longer than I, who I like to think of as friends and mentors in this erotic blogging community: CW at Diary of a Cheating Whore, Hy at A Dissolute Life Means, and Scarlett at A True Unfolding and last but NOT least, the gorgeous MariMar at Unraveling MariMar (gosh she is just an angel like me, maybe her and I should get together and do sinful things) are all very deserving of this award for their confidence in their own non-traditional (read: non-vanilla) sexual adventures.

The next two nominations are for bloggers that I’ve just begun to get to know.  Their academic perspectives on sex with a twist of naughtiness really capture my attention.  Mrs. Fever at Temperature’s Rising (sorry Seamus, I know you would have included her in the first round had you known she would accept it) and Pyx at Syncopation are both such smart women and excellent writers it has to be sinful.

My final two nominations are for bloggers that I don’t know at all, but I want to catch up on every last post.  Ms. Cara Thereon is a professional writer blogging at Closed 2 and Plumptious Pea is an aural erotica blogger at Plumptious Pea’s Pod.   Meet me over at their blogs so we can get to know them better.

Yes, that makes 8.  What is that, gluttony?

Okay, back to #3.  If it is so hard for me to prove I’m sinful, then I must be a good girl.


I’ll admit, when I’m wronged I don’t just take it laying down, I take it laying down with a cute little pout.  I might even take it while laying on my tummy.  As I’m taking it, I might let it permeate my brain a little while, I might feel anger, then I will wait for karmic retribution to work its way out.  I trust the natural balance and order of life, however my vengeance never dies.  When justice is served my pout turns upward into a devious grin.


I may have done a little post a while back, about my character breaking in (more like just walking in) to a neighbor’s apartment and fucking a guy she barely knew on the neighbor’s bed.  Well, I will tell you a little secret, even though my name isn’t really Gwen, that story was true and it was me who committed the break-in.  Before I met my husband I was not able to control my lustful urges very well.  I had a one track mind, and it served me well.


Perhaps this one can be summed up by linking to my threesome posts.  As if one wonderful husband who sexually satisfies me in every way possible wasn’t enough, I am allowed to play with him and other men sometimes.  I wouldn’t mind a few more guys joining in the mix either, I guess I am greedy and I will take all the cock I can get.  Like others, I might also be a bit orgasm-greedy.  You know how I mentioned that I like to orgasm three times a day, well I didn’t want to admit it, but some days I need more.


This may be my greatest sin of all; I am driven by envy and not ashamed to admit it.  Envy sets my lofty goals in motion, envy gives me benchmarks to reach, envy makes me try harder.  I make it no secret when I envy another person, I love it when others let me know there is something about me they envy.  Seamus, I envy your ability to convey such sexy thoughts with such eloquence.


While I may be guilty of this sin from time to time, I try to never admit it!  Even when it seems I’m being apathetic I’m still testing you, still watching and waiting for my time to strike.  It is all part of my plan.


Well, you know me.  If there was no praise for display of my breasts here on the blog, I sure wouldn’t do it this often.   I need your praise for my physical features and take cover when given a blogging award.   I know it isn’t the right way to be.  Pride in my writing is such a struggle, but it is my ultimate goal.


I don’t even know how to begin with this.  It seems to be the same is Greed.  Maybe I will have to think about this further.  I like a balance in life, but truly, from an outside perspective it might be unfair that I get to have two men sometimes while I’ve never provided another pussy for my man to enjoy.  Sure, he has fun too, but I know he wouldn’t mind a little less other penis in me and a little more pretty pink lips on his cock.  Like I said, I might have to think about this further.

So there you have it my fellow sinners.  Do you think I am sinful enough to deserve this award?  I still don’t know.