(Possible trigger within: childhood sexual abuse)
Craig, your list kind of sucks.
I know, I know, you get what you pay for.
On Monday night Derek replied to an ad in the local Craigslist Casual Encounters section for a couple seeking another couple. Looking through Craigslist has been something like a hobby lately, keeping hope we can meet another Green or Blue or Rick and Chloe. You don’t see too many mw4mw ads in our city, so Derek told me he was going to reply and got right on it. He sent several photos of me in his response, usually he will do a body pic first to find out if the other people are real. But no, by some (forgivable) lapse of judgement he sent off my face pics, body, titty and maybe an ass pic.
They responded not long after, but it wasn’t read until after a night of blissful slumber. The response: “lol i know (Myrealname). wow she has nice tits!”
When he read the response I think D froze for a moment wondering if he was going to get in trouble with me. He called me in from preparing breakfast and read the response to me. And then read it again a few times because I needed it.
I was a bit shocked, this was the first time
our my “cover” has been blown. I smiled in amazement, and said, “oh my god!”
I was a bit humiliated. But that didn’t last long, as certainly this was like running into someone you know at a swinger’s club. Except they wore a mask and laughed as they recognized me, then ran away. When D pulled up their original ad, it had no photos and the physical descriptions were vague. The women had written the ad, and the response appeared to come from her. That was all I had to go on.
We composed a response somewhat quickly, summarizing that it feels awkward that they know me, and how we would like to know who they are. And thanks for the compliment.
And I waited, and waited, and waited all morning. My husband D was at work, and I tried to stay busy at home, biting my nails as I poured over my Facebook friends list for 32 year old dyed-blond wife of a dark haired man I might know. My stomach turned as I realized how most of my friends are not even on Facebook. Why was I nervous? I just didn’t like not knowing who it was.
Fine, it was thrilling, to say the least. From the mix of humiliation and embarrassment, came the feeling I was being watched, the high of being on display, I was naked in front of a crowd of clothed people. The secret that I wasn’t just an innocent wife and mother but a strong sexual being had finally broke free into the “real world”. Sure, these feelings were inflated, all they knew was that we like to swing, and that I have nice boobs, nothing really more.
It made my panties wet all day. I ached with anticipation in a whole new and different way. As each potential “suspect” was ruled out I sighed with frustration and relief.
Then she responded. And my fantasy that it could be someone “good” was blown. Damn, I want that fantasy back.
It was one of my oldest acquaintances from childhood. A girl who was banned from our house for trying to engage my little sister and I in sexual activities when we were teeny tiny. Probably the LEAST sexy person I could ever imagine. And it brings a slew of memories back that I’d like to keep bottled.
So, I’m mad at you Craig. Your list sucks. All you give me are young assholes who think just because my husband wants to share me that I’m not a real person who wants to actually be turned on before I give it up. You give us photo collectors, and men who lie about having a woman who is going to join us. And then you give me the girl who has been trying to get in my pants since I started wearing them. Fuck you Craig. We are done.