filled and fooled

NSFW/MATURE CONTENT

Winter Freeze

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I don’t know why or how, but a draft of this post got semi-published today when I stepped away from the computer.  But then it never really showed up as published, did it? I’m confused, sorry.  But here is the post:

___________

I tried to avoid the “I’m still here– the kids are keeping me busy– don’t forget about me” type of post for this extended break in blogging here at filled and fooled, but I wanted to let you know I’m still here.  I think you knew I was still around even though I missed a couple Boobdays and TMI Tuesdays.  I just re-blogged a story that I wrote a while ago, because I read it the other day and thought it was hot and fun and needed a bit of touching up.  A few future stories may spring from that one, and I’m excited about that.

But to update you on my life, besides the holiday busyness:

We’ve had a few encounters I chose not to blog about because they didn’t end like I imagined they should.  I do want to be authentic, and genuine in this blog because there are not of other areas in life I can.  So, with each encounter I can either choose to keep the story to myself, embellish/change the story, or tell you about what happened and include the reality that there are not-so-fun turns in some of the situations.  Anyone have any preferences?

Last night my husband and I embarked on a new part of our swinging relationship together.  This time he was the third entering a couple’s home.  I was back at home with the kids, keeping warm with a tight belly and a list of things to do to keep me occupied.  He got to see what it was like to share in the pleasure a wife and her bi husband bring to another man.

He is going to write up an account of what happened because it seems pretty kinky and fun.  Even though I wasn’t there…And I plan to write about my feelings, because I think even though I felt lonely while he was gone I still don’t feel jealousy. at. all.  I will explain more in my future post touching on the following points:

1) I feel good about this.  For many reasons.

–It relieves a lot of the guilt that I was the one getting most of the attention since the beginning of our swinging adventures.

–I was not ready to be with this couple, not feeling the same sorts of attraction and I genuinely wanted to allow him to experience something new.  Going with my feelings and trusting that it wouldn’t challenge our bond was a nice and new feeling.

–There is an odd relief to know what it is like to be excluded in my lover’s sex.  Maybe I had an irrational fear of being cheated on before….  But right now I don’t feel like he would ever do that because he has been given a freedom few men are given by their wives and if he did have sex with another person that would not be horrible, it just wouldn’t.

–He had fun, he felt happy.  His ending wasn’t that beautiful, made me laugh and he was willing to let me share the experience on the blog with you.  I hope he lets me include all the details (yes, honey, even that last part).

–Before he left we talked about boundaries, but as he got there I changed my mind and asked him to avoid fucking her.  They respected my wishes.

–There are photos that my husband has, and I may look at them if I choose.  So far I’m not feeling like looking.

–I see his appeal from another woman’s eyes.

2) This does not mean I am allowed to go out to fuck another couple, this couple, or another man and I am fine with that.

3) And more… so keep an eye out for the posts about this experience coming this week.

Have a great Sunday, and like I said in my original post that I sort of published this morning, “GO NINERS!!!!”

9 thoughts on “Winter Freeze

  1. Yes, I tried to comment on the earlier post but… it wasn’t there! So…

    I too have refrained from the ‘don’t forget about me’ posts, even though I’ve been sorely tempted given that all my readers/followers/commenters have all seemed to have disappeared. I suppose it’s the holidays after all and everyone is busy.
    And switching from WordPress to Tumblr probably didn’t help. The switch was forced upon me by WordPress, who won’t let me post anymore, although I see they’ll still let me comment on other people’s blogs!
    Anyhoo, enough about me, we were talking about you…

    I say YES you must definitely post about the good, the bad, and the ugly, when it comes to swinging. Too many sex bloggers just post the good stuff and ignore the bad – until one day they’re suddenly saying ‘I need to save my marriage, so I’m going to stop blogging now’ and you (the reader) are left thinking ‘WTF? What brought that on?’ Because it came out of nowhere. We think it’s all been a bed of roses in the swinging garden, but meanwhile they’ve been getting shredded by the thorns.

    • for some reason I don’t get Tumblr, I know it is lame, but the layouts and getting into certain posts just doesn’t flow for me. But, if you can tweet each blog post I would check it out.

    • And I agree, the bad and the ugly are important too. I just don’t know how far to take it sometimes, since it involves other people either unknowingly or knowingly being written about. With the good everyone looks like a superhero and it makes it easy to write, but when my squirting causes problems for example, it is much harder for me to write…lol…

  2. Add me to the the yes column for posting the good, the bad, and the ugly. And for the same reasons Nero points out. I look forward to reading about your husband’s encounter too.

    • Wonderful, I will keep pressing him for that post, and I do remember him owing me another one about watching me with other men. I think he needs to get busy!!

  3. You have been missed. 😦

    A wonderful account. I like how you really try to deconstruct your thoughts into clear logical points. And how you’re able to rationalise your emotions. When I get emotional, sometimes it takes me a while to actually know what I think about how I feel. Does that make any sense.

    Looking forward for the next post 😉

    • Aww, sweet BKH, whomever you are you always give such nice feedback.

      It does make sense. I could change my rationalizations as time goes on too, but I really don’t feel like it will happen. I’ve offered him the chance to go without me a few times, but he knew I wasn’t entirely ready at that point. But I am ready now, I give! He had fun, it didn’t hurt me any for him to get blown by two people. So win win situation!

  4. I’m glad you and your husband have crafted a dynamic that works for you.
    Kudos to you both, G!

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