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Today is CURVES Boobday!

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Happy Boobday!!

boobday

Friday, November 14th, is CURVES Boobday

Today’s Boobday post contains an essay I wrote about what it means to me to share my body on the internet.  I will put in quotes what I shared there and add a few more words here if you don’t mind.

When I first started sharing “boob pics” on the internet, it would produce a unique and sometimes rush-like feeling. Most often when I post a photo I’ve had to push past vulnerability, fears of all kinds, and my own rigid and outrageously high expectations for what I produce.  I push past the doubts because I know it feels good to create something that evokes a positive response, and it feels good to have sex appeal, and it feels good to project confidence.

So I publish, then dance between the fears and doubts and the memories of compliments and my momentary acceptances; pirouetting in the high of swirling emotions until the first notification.

Reading a little about porn, sexual desensitization, and the Coolidge Effect I learned that my drive to post photos of myself follows a pattern of addiction.   I might as well admit that there are real physical pulls to feel that the rush of insecurity and then reassurance.  I could blog about anything, but there was a reason I chose a sex blog, there has to be a reason I like being out there like this. This dopamine/endorphin/adrenaline rush happens every.single.time I post, a different degree each time.  And you can count on the fact that there is a come-down.

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laundry day!

The first time my tits met the internet was two summers ago.  My husband and I decided to share a profile on an erotic stories/chat site and our profile contained several photos of me unclothed, face included.  Getting comments on my photos made me believe I was beautiful, sexy, desired.  I may have never thought I was sexy until that point, I can’t really remember.  The boost in my self esteem positively affected several areas of my life. It wasn’t about a high at the beginning,  it was about figuring out I could be beautiful to many different types of men (and women).

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However,  the joy of getting compliments wore off slowly and each time I believed it a little less.  But I was still looking for that rush, it started to take more shock, more kink, more vulnerability, more humiliation to get that boost of dopamine.  After a few months the nightly chat sessions my husband and I had with lots of different men turned into weekly sessions, followed by monthly, followed by forgetting the password to the site.  Like with most addictions I had become desensitized to the stimulus, bored and uninterested.

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So I started a blog and sharing my photos there.  It felt amazing to share true thoughts and feelings, it was so much better than sharing photos and chasing compliments. Even better was sharing photos and words together, but the two combined felt simply perfect.  Then along came Boobday, and the perfect excuse to regularly post photos without feeling like I was doing it for bumps in my stats or a rush.

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What Boobday has done for me is evolved that dance, slowed me down a bit by cutting out some of the fears, and taken vulnerability out of the equation. We are all sharing our special qualities and our audience appreciates our differences.

As I slowed down it wasn’t so hard to see the beauty anymore. I am no longer chasing a high, I’m learning about human beings. Not everyone likes gigantic breasts, and huge nipples.  I sort of thought “the bigger the better” before, following these silly porn ideals I guess.  So, as I come to truly believe that my tits are great simply because they belong to me, I accept more of the things I don’t like about them.  And sharing them becomes less about a rush, but more about confirming I love myself.

This photo celebrates not only the obvious underside curve and pendulum-like boobs I sport, but it portrays the top of the cleavage curve, I claim it as distinctly “G”.  I know it may seem trivial to some, but I really didn’t like how the top of my cleavage always seems to curve a little to the left.  This dissatisfaction is probably a derivative of my long-ingrained belief that having a nice layer of softness over my body (i.e. being overweight)  isn’t a good thing.  So automatically I am inclined to be ashamed at yet another curve my body decides to take. But this photo shows that curve is okay.  My cleavage isn’t straight.  My breasts are fuller some days and saggier other days.  I now accept the fate and these facts that my beauty shall evolve (rather than fade), and I am no longer afraid.

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42 thoughts on “Today is CURVES Boobday!

  1. Sexy sequence…
    Thanks 😀
    And good text too! 🙂

  2. Never stop being open and honest, G. It’s your gift to us.

    Also, nice tatas.

    • Hehe, thank you! 🙂
      I’m reading a book that emphasizes that we have to believe we have a gift to offer the world, believe in our gift and its relevance to society. I read the words but must not truly believe that what I have to say is worthy of being called a gift. But for someone like you to say this, when else am I going to believe it but now?
      You convince me of worth I didn’t ever know I had, thank you.
      xoxoxo

  3. Lovely. Simply lovely. Words. Images. Thank you.

    • Oh my, another lovely compliment from a fantastic writer I very much admire. I’m going to have a hard time not smiling all day. Thank YOU! *giggle* !! xoxo

  4. It’s great to hear you admit to the addictive nature of posting nude pics online for others to rate. I’m sure it’s how sites like Newbie Nudes survive (I’ve also forgotten my password)! Ditto for sex blogging.
    I’ve always said (in RL) that anything can be addictive. I’ve seen people get tattoos for the first time and 5 years later they’re running out of room to put their new tattoo – they’ve become addictive to the feedback they get from people as they show off their latest tattoo.

    • Totally, I never thought about tattoos like that, how the feedback becomes the addiction. I just thought it was pain/endorphins. Interesting. 🙂

  5. And I love your nipples, I cannot lie.

    • Okay good! Thank you. That additional comment just gave me a bump, lol.
      But really, I didn’t know these nipples were anything special until people started noting it, before that I thought everyone had nipples like me.

  6. There is an addictive quality to blogging in general, but being open and honest is a whole different level. I think even through words one can pretty well pick out who is genuine and who isn’t.
    One of the reason I like reading your blog, I get that genuine feel of you.

    A wonderful progression of picture, lovely and yes I have to agree with Nero your nipples are beautiful.

    • Thank you so much, Sir, if I may call you that (not sure if it steps on any toes but it sounds good because you are such a gentleman).
      It is addictive, I wish I could say that writing in general is addictive to me like it is to some. But the feedback is great, I really enjoy it.
      Thank you for everything, my nipples just squinched up a bit reading this. =)

  7. Love your words, love your tits, love it all.
    🙂

  8. I meant to compliment you on your gorgeous pictures on Hy’s post. Lovely series of photos and words.

  9. well done!!
    beautiful – the post & the photos 🙂

  10. Beautiful tits and nipples….

  11. Interesting post…I find photo sharing quite addictive too at times. I think I need sexuality to be in my everyday life, and I can’t just casually hike up my skirt, say, on the bus on the way home from the store. Maybe that came out wrong. I need WAY more sexuality to be in my everyday life and when it really starts to be lacking, photos of my ass start sailing all around the planet. I’m not sure if I find any real gratification doing this, but when I do it, it turns me on. It feels reassuring I guess, nice to be appreciated.

    (I have not participated much on Boobday, I’m flat. 😦 I did once though.)

    Bises,
    Dawn

    • Exactly! I saw my photo sharing before ebb and flow with other things in my life. And yes, sometimes I wondered if it was/is gratifying in the long term.

  12. What an amazing post. I really appreciate that the images carry the words… As we read along, you opened up and undressed a little bit more (literally and figuratively). You’re always so candid and beautiful, and I enjoy every minute of it. xo

  13. Your willingness to accept yourself is refreshing, G.
    Well done!

  14. This presentation of the reveal is as wildly intoxicating, liberating, and exciting for us as it must be for you. You SHOULD love yourself and own your curves! Absolutely fantastic! I believe everyone is beautiful, but a woman’s curves are worth celebrating above all! Thank you for sharing yourself with us. 🙂

    • Thank you for your wonderful comment! If only I believed more people thought like you, I think I’d be posting even more photos. It is my pleasure to share with you, especially when I receive such awesome feedback as this!

  15. I get a rush every time you post something! As for the curves? – fuckin’ sensory OVERLOAD! (true curves lover)

  16. G! AMAZING!!! I love everything about this post. Bravo!

  17. G. You are the reason why life is worth living. (And you think I’m joking. If you only knew!)

    Your breasts are perfection. Keep talking, keep revealing, keep being as sexy as you’re too shy (bless you) to admit.

    We are honoured by you – your body, your thoughts, your sassiness. Keep tapping into your inner feminine (and slut) because without you, without your kinkiness, where would we be?

    Lust Forever! 😉

  18. Pingback: Blue [Boob Day]

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