I’m better than
A drive-by fuck
I’m better than a late night call
then meeting in my bedroom
letting you take only a short suckle and lick before you drive your big cock home…
I am better than that!
I’ve got some complicated feelings bouncing around my head about the threesomes we’ve been having. Most of our experiences lately have been with Green. I’m slightly confused about the level of intimacy necessary to make it a fully enjoyable experience for me. I don’t need to know everything about our partners except for them being drug/disease free, but I also don’t want our partners to come and go without conversation like I’m just a fuck toy either.
It is hard to discuss this with my husband, because we both know that I have the undying love and devotion from him and I shouldn’t need another man to be more than just a warm phallus to me. If I need more from our experiences, it can be misconstrued as something my husband is not giving me, perhaps in the aftercare. But, the issue is the way I see myself afterward, I imagine what I must look like through the other man’s eyes. I feel like I’m seen only as my husband’s property, a gift he is sharing with them. The men are totally respectful of the rules and boundaries Derek has set, and I used to think it was sexy that he had total control, but lately I just feel…
I’m better than that.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to be seen as ANYONE’s property.
Talk to me like I own my body.
So when I woke up this morning, and found out I’d made Kinkly.com’s Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 list (#67 babies!!), I smiled and abandoned those semi-angry feelings for the time being.
I will go back to thinking about that shit soon enough…that is what I do after all. 😀
But for now, joy! I’m on a list! The new phone book is here! I’m patting myself on the back at this very moment!
Kinkly was looking for writers who educated and informed, writers who made them laugh or cry, writers who made them think about sex and sexuality in new ways and writers who chose to blow off doors when it came to telling the truth about sex. The impressions they got after reading a post or two on each nominated blog – combined with the number of votes each blog got – is how they tallied the winners. Pretty cool that I made it on such a list, right?
Those are the thoughts I will fall asleep to tonight, rather than a worry about how I’m seen as a fuck doll. Who knows, tomorrow I may be back to finding that sexy anyway…I will let you know.