filled and fooled


MM: I’m a Beeyotch! A spicy one.


Let’s get into the dirt of the Manic Monday post right up front.  I’m a bitch sometimes.  I did something on Saturday night that I will always regret and feel really bad about doing.  I can blame it on alcohol but that excuse doesn’t fly, I chose to drink.

So you know me somewhat, I smile a lot (which you don’t exactly know because I don’t show you), I can flirt, and I am happy to see people I recognize out and about.  I probably give off a “fuck me” vibe when I’m dressed for dancing at the club.  This usually isn’t a problem for me, I still don’t get picked up on…by guys.

My husband and I were at our favorite local club and there happened to be quite a popular performer there up on stage.  We were dancing and watching the twerking going on, and a girl we had met before came up and started dancing all up on me.  I was feeling good, looked hot (no red scarf though), and I was down to dance with men.  Men only, that night.

It was her birthday.  Shit, I suck.  I danced with her a few minutes after she told me it was her birthday.  I was really trying to keep my distance but she kept getting closer to me, pushing her ass all up on me.  I got the vibe from her that she wanted us.  It sort of freaked me out because I have no fucking clue how to let people down easy.

I blurted, “I’m not into this.”

She didn’t hear me and now was rubbing her tits on me.

I know I like to play with girls, but I think the idea of a threesome with another girl is still sort of freaking me out. Chloe was different, she brought a man to the party and seemed secure in her relationship with him.  A single girl (probably a bit drunk too) screamed “danger” to me.

“I’m really not into this.” I spoke louder into her ear this time.

“Into what?” She asked with a smile.

Oh she was going to make me say it? Fuck that.  I got a little pissed, couldn’t she take a clue?

“I’m not into THIS” I said again, waving my hands around to demonstrate that I’m not into dancing with her anymore.

She still didn’t get it.  She danced closer.  I felt a little trapped at that moment.  What do I do?  I turn into the BEYOTCH of epic proportion.  You would never guess what my drunk mind told me to do at that point….

I grabbed her right tit, like pretty rough, and I yelled, “I AM NOT INTO THIS!!!!”

She looked at me with wide eyes at that point.  I took a step back, realizing what I’d done.

“Any other night, I might be down to have fun with you like that, I don’t have a problem with it, but tonight I’m just not into this.”   I managed to explain, though it was loud and she still may not have heard me.

But she got my message, because she danced away at that point.  For the next 18 hours it ate at me how much of a cunt I had been.  Though I didn’t let that eating feeling ruin my night.  The next day I realized I may have ruined hers.  Who gets rejected on their birthday like that?

I’m due for a dose of karmic retribution and I’m so very scared what it will look like.  I will see her again and she looks like the type that might beat me up.



Nothing to report here, no bold new discoveries based on discussions going on in other blogs.

As I get time I try to check out some of the most nominated blogs for the Best Sex Blog of 2013 (at Between My Sheets).  I’m curious about the many sex toy review blogs.  I suppose I’m a newbie with toys, because I can’t really tell a difference between my dildo and a cucumber because the end result seems to be the same.  Except the cucumber would be bigger and I’d put a condom on him.  Who is your go-to blogger if you are in the market for a toy?



Last week I was asked a great question by Tis Personal, “If you could be any spice, which one would it be and why?”

I had a whole week to think of it, and I’m going to give an answer I wish was a bit more exciting.  I mulled it over  (get it? “mulled”) and I really feel like if I was a spice it would be a versatile one, something that can be paired with anything and act as a flavor enhancer.  So I thought and thought, cinnamon because it has some kick, and it does enhance flavor, but not for everything so that isn’t my answer.

My answer, salt.  Hehe.  How imaginative right? But salt is so good with sweets, salted chocolate caramel, fuck me it is good!  Salt sprinkled on veggies brings a clarity of flavor.  Salt draws out moisture (when I make zucchini noodles I slice the squash longways into noodles, place into a colander,  and then salt it, which makes all the juices run out–making it crisp).  And, I can’t even eat eggs unless they have some salt on them.  If there was no salt in your chocolate chip cookies, they would taste like shit.  Well, sort of.

I don’t salt everything, but when I do, it makes it better.   To fancify my answer, I would be Himalayan Sea Salt.  Now, I challenge anyone to give your own answer.  I would love to know what kind of spice my readers would be.


Well, I think I will leave this Manic Monday post at that.  I’m a beyotch.   And I’m not even spicy, I’m just a little salty.  Why did I choose to tell you the story about hurting another woman’s feelings?  I don’t know, I feel like I need to be knocked down a notch sometimes.  I need a spanking maybe?  I had to get it out to be free from the burden of it.  I guess.  I’m a pain in the ass, just ask my husband.  🙂

26 thoughts on “MM: I’m a Beeyotch! A spicy one.

  1. I don’t think you were being a bitch at all. xo, Jayne

  2. I don’t think you were either. You told her several times that you were not interested. She should have just moved along and found someone who was.

    • Thank you. Okay, see I thought that too but then I felt like I owed her or something. I’m not sure why, but I just didn’t like telling her no. Maybe because I didn’t want my husband to be disappointed that I turned down the chance for him to be with another girl? It just felt really awful.
      I’m feeling better, thank you both!

  3. I don’t think you were a bitch. I had a similar situation a few years ago. Made me uncomfortable, but I really wasn’t even brave enough to get myself out of it. My friend had to rescue me and by that I mean she jumped on an pulled me out of the bar. This after one girl kissed me on the cheeks. It was awkward.

    • Looking back I just wish I had walked away after the first time. The accosting her boobs to show what I didn’t want makes me feel weird. But she was coming on really strong, and we had a good spot to see and I didn’t really want to leave. I feel better now, after everyone here has said I wasn’t being a bitch.
      I suck at saying no, it can be a big problem.

  4. First, you are weren’t being a bitch. You gave her plenty of opportunities to walk away. Sometimes in life we all have to bust into Chuck Norris and put people in their place. I’d say you handled yourself quite well.

    Second, if I were a spice it would be Saffron. It’s vibrant in color like my personality, it’s spicy in flavor like my attitude, it’s derived from a delicate flower like my heart, and you don’t need a lot of it to make a big impact just like me. 😉

    • Thank you for saying that, I like the way you put it. For a split second I felt proud of myself, like I had stood up for myself, but then I put myself in her shoes and felt really bad…then again, I would never force myself on someone.

      I really wanted to be saffron, but I couldn’t rationalize it. You did such a wonderful job!!! It is my favorite spice, by far, and I read one time it was worth more than gold by weight. Not sure if that is still true today, but I always feel so decadent when I eat saffron. I just adore your answer! Thank you so much!!!

  5. DAMN IT, salt isn’t a spice, its a seasoning! Lol!

  6. G,
    Defending your personal space doesn’t make you a beyotch. Far from it, in fact.
    Stay cool, my friend!
    The Hook.

  7. Last time I looked…saffron was the most expensive spice while it is typically about 6 times cheaper than gold, but this is very dependent on the grade and quantities you buy it in. However…gold has gone up in price about 5 times in the last 25 years, so maybe in history gold was cheaper than saffron.
    Are you a bitch? Of course not. The birthday girl was pushing hard and not hearing No for an answer. You were doing what almost everybody does, which is decline an unwanted invitation with as little fuss or embarrassment and as nicely as possible. Several times you increased the volume of your No but were not understood. Finally you had to be more forceful than you wanted to get the message across. Unpleasant but necessary.
    Some other night? Well, I guess you have to work out with MrG what the game plan is for taking a girl home, what are the previously agreed rules. Is she to be shared? What if she does not want any MrG? What if she realises she only wants MrG? Ah, the joys of so much choice:-)

    • ps. Salt may not be a spice, but we’d die without it. No saffron, we’d be ok.
      Sounds to me like you are one of life’s necessities:-)

    • It’s probably not true that some other night I would, I’m just not attracted to her but I have this “take what you can get” or “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” mentality. Even though being with her would overstep boundaries we already set forth, I still worried my husband may get upset I turned her down.

      Thank you for saying it though. But thank you most of all for being here, reading, and commenting! Last post I was talking about you!

  8. First off .. what Nick said!
    Secondly, spice or not, salt seems apropos. Without it we would die, and too much of us would kill us? Somehow that seems about right. LOL!
    Something tells me that if you weren’t turned on by her then Mr. G would not be either. Don’t worry about it. Trust your instincts. You are by nature overly accommodating if anything. (Not that I can blame her for being totally turned on by you.)
    But if you insist on a spanking, I suppose I could force myself to oblige you …

    • Nothing more exciting than a mystery guest! Hello there (stranger), I appreciate your kind words and agreement with Nick. I am overly accommodating, I just want to spread happiness, I hate conflict. But I still do need a spanking, I mean, I think I do. 😀

      • ah. I neglected to sign in … perhaps i should remain a “mystery guest”, the idea of exciting you in any way is rather exciting in itself…
        By all means, let us discuss that spanking though …

        • You didn’t have to come clean silly, I knew it was you. 🙂 Either way, I appreciate it very much.
          As far as the spanking, it has to be on the fleshy part, I think, I don’t know exactly how its done really…hehe

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