Don’t be confused by the title, please.
To refresh your memory, every (Manic) Monday I’m giving myself an opportunity to share about subjects other than sex if I feel like it. I’ll admit that beyond parenting, photography, music and the random art or craft, my interest is in erotica, smut, and sex. So some MM posts might be strictly sex-related. If you are reading my blog I think you are okay with that. But I wanted a day of freedom if I ever needed it, to keep the creative flow. Free form, I guess, is the goal. I welcome anyone else to join on your own blog or in comments, because I like getting to know you and seeing if we share interests.
Have you ever wondered if your partner can be the Dominant you desire? According to JK, one of my favorite bloggers:
Are you truly submissive or do you just like rough sex? Many women think they’re submissive, but when I meet them my instincts tell me there’s nothing submissive about them. They instead just like rough sex, like to be taken, even when they resist. That kind of sex is fun…
Stories from a man’s abyss is not just a sensual collection of tales of the acts of love between Dominant JK and his submissive Sofia, it is an educational, arousing, and thought-provoking blog treasure. This post, which I quoted above, generated a wonderful discussion and prompted my response here.
JK gave me the words I needed to feel more comfortable with my position on D/s. See, I like rough sex but I am pretty sure I am not a submissive. I think my regular readers know I enjoy getting spanked, my hair pulled, my nipples pinched and twisted a little, and I really enjoyed the handcuffs in that MMF threesome; but I am still getting to know my sexual self, and I am not as self-actualized as I’d like to be, and I cannot fathom offering my full submission in truth to any other person. Basically, I am still learning to submit to myself.
I actively avoided the topic of D/s here on the blog because I thought saying I like rough sex makes me a submissive wanna-be. I imagined a few other bloggers not liking me for this reason. I had the (mis)understanding that in the sex blogging community it is black or white, you are or are not submissive.
I could have just been dense all along and you knew I wasn’t a sub but I like it rough, and how perfectly okay that is…but anyway….
Now I see it obviously, the gray area is in what we don’t yet know about ourselves. At the point in the (hopefully) future that I feel like I am comfortable in my own skin, when my view of myself aligns with others views of me (as much as can be expected), and when I feel confident that I know the outcome of my desires, will I want to give my full submission to my husband if he requests it? It is even possible I would want to offer my submission. I guess I will let you know when/if I find out.
I know that in some cases, like JK states in his post and Mari-Mar (who identifies as a submissive) has explained of her situation in the past, you know you have the desire, and there is a need to find the right person to help fulfill it. This seems true for Scarlett (another submissive blogger friend) as well.
So, what if sometimes, just out of sheer love, one partner gives into the needs of the other entirely and learns to love it. A single woman who likes it a bit rough meets and falls in love with a man who truly desires to be a Dominant. Because she loves him, she submits and does whatever he needs, and that relationship grows from there. Was she a “true” submissive or was she a girl who likes rough sex and wants to please her man? Maybe deep down that need to please is key? How often does that happen anyway? Is this the premise of 50 shades?
For what it’s worth, right now, I have a desire to take a man’s direction through the lens of his camera. I’d be willing to let him choose the location, and let him use props and other people, whatever he wishes~ I’m getting turned on now~but it still feels self-fulfilling, I am not wanting to do those things to please the man, I’m doing them to please myself. Note: I’m not really doing those things at all, my husband would not appreciate it, and because we are married I submit to his desire.
So, I’m still confused about the subject, and where I fall on the spectrum. I submitted to my husband’s desire to have a foursome and I really am glad I did because I enjoyed it. What other desires lie dormant until given the opportunity to flourish? More questions that only time can answer, but in the end I’m not afraid to blog about about D/s anymore, phew.
Now, don’t even get me started on being a Domme….
A few weeks ago I found this way to prepare spaghetti squash, that is so, so good. And easy. Easy is good, even though I don’t work outside the home, I still like to make cooking easier on myself. I wish I had more desire to be creative in the kitchen, but at the moment I have a few other time-sucks to tend to. So anyway, if you like a curry flavor and would like to experiment with vegetable substitutes for white carbs like pasta, try this recipe for Super Easy Crock Pot Spaghetti Squash Curry. The squash also works well just cooked without the curry seasoning and covered in a good marinara or pesto, or stir-fried with other veggies and the soy/ginger/garlic/oil base. Healthy, good, try it and you’ll like it!
Do you want to read something that is guaranteed to make you smile? Last week a new (highly entertaining and eclectic) blog I follow called Paranóias posted 60 of the world’s happiest facts. It will trigger at least one curl of your sexy lips, and hopefully a beaming grin by the end (which is such a turn-on by the way). Note: it doesn’t exactly promise to make you smile, that was me, so if it doesn’t make you smile I want you to let me know so I can give you a “refund.”
Another new blog I follow posted a gallery of the most interesting photos recently. Check out this post containing photos taken at a lake in Tanzania that turns animals into statues. I do enjoy a good photography blog, and eMORFES is just that.
Well folks, that’s it for my Manic Monday post. I hope you enjoyed. The sun is right and I’m going to try to take advantage of it for this Friday’s Boobday.
I can’t urge you enough to leave me a comment, it just makes my day. And, I take requests, did you know that? I want to write something for you, just give me some inspiration. Love!