filled and fooled


MM: I like rough sex and spaghetti squash


Don’t be confused by the title, please.

Time for another Manic Monday post!  I skipped last week to post about my one year anniversary of being a sex blogger (or any type of blogger for that matter). Woo hoo!!

To refresh your memory, every (Manic) Monday I’m giving myself an opportunity to share about subjects other than sex if I feel like it.  I’ll admit that beyond parenting, photography, music and the random art or craft, my interest is in erotica, smut, and sex.  So some MM posts might be strictly sex-related.  If you are reading my blog I think you are okay with that.  But I wanted a day of freedom if I ever needed it, to keep the creative flow.  Free form, I guess, is the goal.  I welcome anyone else to join on your own blog or in comments, because I like getting to know you and seeing if we share interests.


Have you ever wondered if your partner can be the Dominant you desire? According to JK, one of my favorite bloggers:

Are you truly submissive or do you just like rough sex?  Many women think they’re submissive, but when I meet them my instincts tell me there’s nothing submissive about them.  They instead just like rough sex, like to be taken, even when they resist.  That kind of sex is fun…

Stories from a man’s abyss is not just a sensual collection of tales of the acts of love between Dominant JK and his submissive Sofia,  it is an educational, arousing, and thought-provoking blog treasure.  This post, which I quoted above, generated a wonderful discussion and prompted my response here.

JK gave me the words I needed to feel more comfortable with my position on D/s.  See, I like rough sex but I am pretty sure I am not a submissive.  I think my regular readers know I enjoy getting spanked, my hair pulled, my nipples pinched and twisted a little, and I really enjoyed the handcuffs in that MMF threesome; but I am still getting to know my sexual self, and I am not as self-actualized as I’d like to be, and I cannot fathom offering my full submission in truth to any other person.  Basically, I am still learning to submit to myself.

I actively avoided the topic of D/s here on the blog because I thought saying I like rough sex makes me a submissive wanna-be.  I imagined a few other bloggers not liking me for this reason.  I had the (mis)understanding that in the sex blogging community it is black or white, you are or are not submissive.

I could have just been dense all along and you knew I wasn’t a sub but I like it rough, and how perfectly okay that is…but anyway….

Now I see it obviously, the gray area is in what we don’t yet know about ourselves.  At the point in the (hopefully) future that I feel like I am comfortable in my own skin, when my view of myself aligns with others views of me (as much as can be expected), and when I feel confident that I know the outcome of my desires, will I want to give my full submission to my husband if he requests it? It is even possible I would want to offer my submission.  I guess I will let you know when/if I find out.

I know that in some cases, like JK states in his post and Mari-Mar (who identifies as a submissive) has explained of her situation in the past, you know you have the desire, and there is a need to find the right person to help fulfill it.  This seems true for Scarlett (another submissive blogger friend) as well.

So, what if sometimes, just out of sheer love, one partner gives into the needs of the other entirely and learns to love it.  A single woman who likes it a bit rough meets and falls in love with a man who truly desires to be a Dominant.  Because she loves him, she submits and does whatever he needs, and that relationship grows from there.  Was she a “true” submissive or was she a girl who likes rough sex and wants to please her man?  Maybe deep down that need to please is key?  How often does that happen anyway? Is this the premise of 50 shades?

For what it’s worth, right now, I have a desire to take a man’s direction through the lens of his camera. I’d be willing to let him choose the location, and let him use props and other people, whatever he wishes~ I’m getting turned on now~but it still feels self-fulfilling, I am not wanting to do those things to please the man, I’m doing them to please myself.  Note: I’m not really doing those things at all, my husband would not appreciate it, and because we are married I submit to his desire.

So, I’m still confused about the subject, and where I fall on the spectrum.  I submitted to my husband’s desire to have a foursome and I really am glad I did because I enjoyed it.  What other desires lie dormant until given the opportunity to flourish? More questions that only time can answer, but in the end I’m not afraid to blog about about D/s anymore, phew.

Now, don’t even get me started on being a Domme….


A few weeks ago I found this way to prepare spaghetti squash, that is so, so good.  And easy.  Easy is good, even though I don’t work outside the home, I still like to make cooking easier on myself.  I wish I had more desire to be creative in the kitchen, but at the moment I have a few other time-sucks to tend to.  So anyway, if you like a curry flavor and would like to experiment with vegetable substitutes for white carbs like pasta, try this recipe for Super Easy Crock Pot Spaghetti Squash Curry.  The squash also works well just cooked without the curry seasoning and covered in a good marinara or pesto, or stir-fried with other veggies and the soy/ginger/garlic/oil base.  Healthy, good, try it and you’ll like it!


Do you want to read something that is guaranteed to make you smile?  Last week a new (highly entertaining and eclectic) blog I follow called Paranóias posted 60 of the world’s happiest facts.  It will trigger at least one curl of your sexy lips, and hopefully a beaming grin by the end (which is such a turn-on by the way).  Note: it doesn’t exactly promise to make you smile, that was me, so if it doesn’t make you smile I want you to let me know so I can give you a “refund.”


Another new blog I follow posted a gallery of the most interesting photos recently.  Check out this post containing photos taken at a lake in Tanzania that turns animals into statues. I do enjoy a good photography blog, and eMORFES is just that.

Well folks, that’s it for my Manic Monday post.  I hope you enjoyed. The sun is right and I’m going to try to take advantage of it for this Friday’s Boobday.

I can’t urge you enough to leave me a comment, it just makes my day.  And, I take requests, did you know that? I want to write something for you, just give me some inspiration.  Love!


28 thoughts on “MM: I like rough sex and spaghetti squash

  1. Ohhhh…… many thanks for your words…
    Love that words! 😀

    Glad you liked the post. And it’s nice to see you stepping by my blog. 🙂

    And i loved that note:
    “Note: it doesn’t exactly promise to make you smile, that was me, so if it doesn’t make you smile I want you to let me know so I can give you a “refund.””

    Muahahah! 😀

    And, Emorfes, a great blog too, as yours. 😉

  2. Hey G, great post. I like the variety of what you put out. I also wanted to share with you that I made a “ghost” out of wire ( chicken wire corset and that 1/4″square wire for the skirt. I was remembering your hula hoops when I was wondering what the hell I was doing halfway through the ghost dress. The wire is not easy to work with. I also loved that post of eMORFES Tanzania animals – a little creepy but SO beautiful.

    Pondering the submissive thing is something I do too. I have no idea – it’s a bit much for me to ponder – just do me. haha

    • Thank you Jayne! Now I’m picturing your ghost, but is there any way you can email me a photo? I’m impressed, already!

      The submission thing is a huge subject, which I avoided thinking about because of the vast and deep introspection it requires. Plus, that “you either are, or are not” thought made me feel inadequate in my pondering.

      Anyway, how are you Miss Jayne?

      • The ghosts are a pain to make. I’ll try and photograph it but you can look online and see a better picture – wire ghosts and they’re basically empty ball gowns.

        I kind of thought that for the right guy, I’d do anything he wanted. Basically, I’m tired of trying to figure that out. Heck, for the right guy, I’d do all kinds of things I wouldn’t normally consider. It’s all in his manner approach, respectfulness and devilish mind, right?

        I’m alright G. but I am starting to feel a little dark and sad about some things honestly. Perfect for October I guess.

        • Blarg, why is it not showing my response? I had a well-thought-out response of commisseration and hugs. I am here for you if you’d like to chat, you have done so much to bring me out of dark thoughts many times. Love and lots of hugs,

  3. I’m flattered, G, at how you go on about my blog and my post. Thank you.
    If your husband ever relents about the photos, I’d love taking them. Tell him I’m harmless. I just like taking pictures of beautiful women. 🙂

  4. Thoroughly loved reading this post! As a woman in a Dominant/submissive relationship, I still have problems fully identifying as a sub. I do it because that is the title it falls under when I’m with Sir Dre, but sometimes I feel like the kid sister following people around and trying to do what they do. So many others in this lifestyle are more established within it in both age and experience. However, the one thing I have definitely learned is that the right chemistry between the Dom and sub is what brings out the naturally submissiveness. Everyone has a need, and while I love rough sex, I think I reached a point where I needed something more to satisfy me. xxx

    • Thank you for your insight Scarlett, I really need more in the lifestyle to chime in to help me alleviate confusion about being confused, haha.

      How is Henri coming along with the idea of being your Dom?

      • We don’t venture into that area of conversation because I don’t think with Henri’s personality it could happen. All I want is for him to be confident and adventurous in bed, a bit rough too. But a Dom he is not. Plus I can’t deny, I like the advantage of having two men to fuck, whom I trust and have amazing cocks 😉 xxx

  5. I love your MMs and all the little tidbits of information you provide. I will definitely be trying the Spaghetti Squash recipe. Anything with curry in it usually becomes an instant favorite in my house. I am such a spice and flavor whore, no vanilla for this girl. Maybe, you can write about that someday. If you could be any spice, which one would it be and why? Kind of like Jayne’s Ice Cream flavor question in regards to Men. xo

    • Yay, I’m glad you love the MM’s, I so appreciate you saying that! You’ll have to let me know how the squash comes out. I will admit that not everyone in my house feels it is an appropriate substitute for white pasta. But the curry flavor worked really well with the almost-sweetness of the squash. Good meal for sure. I also like to use zucchini for pasta and that goes over better in this house for some reason.
      Can I say that I love that you cal yourself a spice and flavor whore! I have never been a fan of vanilla either! I do like the bourbon vanilla that trader joes has (don’t know where you are located but it is a chain grocery store).
      I would love to write about which spice I would be, I’ve actually referred to myself as cinnamon, which I saw as midway between vanilla and spicy/kinky. But now that you ask me I’m going to ponder that more and get back to you. I hope you are ready with your answer to the question, I look forward to learning a bit from you too!

      • Love Trader Joe’s, we have quite a few in my area. I’ve never tried the bourbon vanilla but might pick some up next time I’m there. I’m going to have to start thinking about what spice I am. hmmmm, this might prove to be a challenging one, but i ‘ll be ready with an answer. 😉

      • Alright I finally made the squash. Loved it! That will become a regular, so easy and healthy. Thanks for sharing! xoxo

  6. Excellent questions you’ve posed here! My Mynx and I recently had a fun, spirited debate about this- Rough Sex or Submissive- as we began to look at ‘seemingly’ vanilla friends & family we have in our lives, really wondering about whether or not some even still had sex!

    The conversation evolved into public areas where we considered aloud the same thing, but directed our wondering eyes at the people around us in malls or restaurants. So three categories emerged;
    (1) Dom/sub, (2) Rough Sex, and (3) Not had it in years! Then after determining the category, the one making the call had to back it up with a ‘why’ for that person or couple. Talk about entertainment! 🙂

    I would challenge anyone to enlighten their next date night with a round of 1-2-3, everyone around us seemed to enjoy our laughter- if they only knew what content provided the enjoyment- LOL!

    -Mynx’s Sir

    • That seems like a fun date night! I accept your challenge and will let you know how much fun we have pinpointing our fellow “kinksters” (if I could even call myself [or you] such a thing).
      Thank you so much for following the blog, and for reading and thinking about my questions.

  7. Ohhh I am in your post being mentioned along with JK Scarlett…. wow!
    Why can’t I help to think of the four of us in the same room…. Now that would be fun.
    Thank you mentioning me…. I love this MM post and everything it says.

  8. I love the fact you feel you’re still exploring/defining your sexual identity, G.
    Great post!

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