I feel the need to type more than necessary today. If you just want to get to the gritty of this week’s TMI Tuesday post, skip down to the bold text.
When I started blogging I knew that I was innocent and naive to many things sex-related. I actively avoided learning about certain kinks, certain lifestyles, certain physiological happenings. I preferred to portray the innocent yet sexy version of G, the good wife, the good mommy, a secret sexy shared with very few. Yes, I do have a bi husband, and I do love to fuck other men. That is where it stops, I don’t cheat, I’m not a hotwife, and this isn’t a cuckhold relationship.
A few months back I felt like the need to stay innocent was keeping me from exploring some possibly enjoyable experiences. It spurred the need to read more blogs with a BDSM theme. It has spurred the need to make that girl on girl experience happen in real life. I want to see how my body reacts to new things, but I am still really scared.
Last week I posted this chart, which explained all sorts of non-monogamous labels for relationships. I was making a small effort to educate myself on where my husband and I fell in the non-monogamy world. We talked and figured out we don’t even fit on that chart. Why do I need a label anyway? We are special, I know that much.
Then I posted about how I wish I was bisexual. And it isn’t that I really wish I was different or bisexual, it’s that I know I’m not comfortable with intimacy with other females as much as I am with men, and I am curious about whether just trying pussy will make that go away. Like really trying it, not just tasting it on him. For women it seems so common (at least in our circles) to play with other women. I want to fit in…
Always this struggle to change to fit into one certain mold, even though I should feel proud I can mingle among many. Always this worry that the mold was broken when I was made. I know life would feel so much better if I just accepted me for me, us for us. One step at a time…
June is Adult Sex Ed Month (twitter: #AdultSexEdMonth). The movement was started by blogger @GoodDirtyWoman on twitter. Please read more here: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/june-is-adultsexedmonth/
1. Have you ever investigated having an open relationship?
– Have you tried to have an open relationship?
So first question right off the bat, hits a semi-sore spot. Yes, we have an open relationship in the sense that we have threesomes with other men, without love (open according to this chart). But, we don’t have sex without the other one present. We don’t feel open and free to explore with other people. When I posted that I think our relationship most closely resembles an open relationship based on the chart, my husband was quick to point out that it made me sound free to date or something. No that is not the case.
2. Do you have any sexual phobias?
– What have you done to manage or overcome them?
I didn’t think I had any phobias. Maybe not fitting in a certain crowd? Overcome that by avoiding that situation? I really don’t fear anything when it comes to sexual exploration. Do I think I can freely ask for things, no, but I don’t fear them if offered.
3. What is the best new sexual activity you have tried in 2013?
Something new huh? I guess I’ve gotten more experimental when I have the rare occasion of fucking myself, but I don’t know of anything new my husband and I have tried. Perhaps when he reads this he can let me know and I’ll edit.
4. Have you ever called into a sex advice radio/television show or written to a sex advice columnist?
– Was it helpful?
No, I never thought I had any reason to. But I love listening and reading this kind of stuff.
5. Would you use the services of a sex therapist? Why or why not?
Yes, I would see a therapist who specializes in sexual aspects of a relationship, specifically non-traditional relationships (I happen to know of one in my area). Maybe I need to look into this further as a career for myself because of my lack of hangups talking about sex. I would love to help other couples overcome sexual problems because it really does seem to affect the rest of the relationship.
Also, I’ve used several bloggers as my personal sex therapists. I think we have professionals among us…
6. Should sex therapists be allowed to engage in actual sexual activities with clients? Why or why not?
Yes, though I know very little about this and I’m going to check out the movie suggested below, I do know that sometimes the easiest way to describe an act is to show it being done. I also feel like there should be people out there (who want to do this) who help people achieve fantasies that they are dwelling on in a safe and discrete manner. Sex workers should be called sex therapists in some cases (I imagine).
Overall, since sex is so important to us as a society, yet something we feel we need to keep hidden from our peers and family in most cases, it seems like we have a long way to go before sex therapy in the way of engaging in sexual activities is accepted.
I highly recommend watching the movie “The Sessions” based on a true story of how a sex therapist helped a disabled man live a full, rich life that included sex. Movie trailer: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1866249/
Bonus: Have you read any adult sex ed books lately
No, and I never have so does anyone have any recommendations? Bonus points if I can read it in public.