I know its wrong, but I’m going to assume that all men love red meat. A big juicy hamburger, melted cheese on top, resting on a puffy kinda-sweet bun, further topped with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, sauces, I don’t know what! I know you can make it fancy, and the beauty of this bevy of toppings, you put it on yourself.
I mean you put it on your own burger, not on your own body.
But I can make the burger. I can also get coals just right to cook that burger to perfection. And I will tend to it on the grill just like it deserves. Then I will lay it upon that puffy bun right in front of you, nudging you toward the toppings area. And I will then smile a sultry loving smile when you flash that satisfied grin.
Here is how I make your burger:
G’s Turkey Burgers That Taste Good
1.5 lb ground turkey
1 lb pork sausage breakfast rolls
1 yellow onion (plus oil to sautee in)
spices and special seasonings
1. So you start the process of satisfaction by cutting that onion up into super teeny tiny pieces. Like you dice the hell out of it, I think its called “mince” them. You don’t want the pieces to be big enough that its really visible in the burger (especially if you have kids) it is the onion flavor we are looking for. After you have that onion really tiny, you cook it in oil of some sort (I use canola, because no reason) until it is translucent. By now, the house smells great, almost as good as chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, good.
2. Let the cooked onions cool in the pan while you dump the meat, egg, and seasoning in a big bowl (I’m being vague on the seasonings on purpose because really, the sausage gives you enough seasoning. But make sure you put salt and pepper in, because everything that isn’t sweet needs salt and pepa.)
3. Now I really do want you to play the song.
4. With the song playing in your head you start to mix all your stuff in the bowl together. Take your rings off and get in there, have a good time with the meat! Push it good! Mix it up, hold that meat tight and work it girl! Work that meat in your hands until it is nice and firm, about to explode…. wait wrong post.
5. Add those onions and keep mixing it up. Once it is all mixed, pat it gently and lovingly into little round titty shapes. I just mean form them into patties.
6. In patty form, put them in the fridge and get your coals going.
7. Lifeofalovergirl gave me this award a week ago. My recipe is my sneaky attempt to do another award post.
Her post was really cute, you should totally check out her blog. My first thought was, “FUCK YES! I love awards!” And then I got really worried because I didn’t feel that versatile. I know I have parallels in my thinking, for instance, I feel like the act of lighting a cigarette is super sexy but smoking is super gross. Like giving and getting spankings…Stuff like that, yeah…
But like I said, I love awards. So I made myself more versatile by becoming a cooking blog for a minute so I could graciously accept the nomination.
Here is a list of the “official rules”.
• Thank the person who gave you this award.
Thank you lifeofalovergirl!
• Include a link to their blog.
• Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.
See down there at the left hand side of the bottom of my blog? It has all my new follows. Right near that place you can put your email address so you can easily get emailed my new posts? Pssst, that way you don’t have to come back and check for new posts, you get to be a VIP!
• Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award
Oh shit, really? Okay, you can totally peek my list of new follows but I’m not necessarily going to post on all their blogs that they have won this award. I barely know them! I’m going to think about this a bit. Seeing as how I
secretly coveted awards, there might be others that appreciate getting them out of the blue too. Darn it, okay people give me time and I will link to 15 of those new follows and tell them they are being nominated.
• Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.
1. I have a garden that consists only of strawberries and they are abundant right now!
2. I enjoy all types of music, but the last concert I saw was reggae.
3. I have a new favorite liquor, Honey Whiskey.
4. I want to lose 20 pounds by June 15th. (It is good for me to put goals out there, plus I’m more versatile when I say stuff like that)
5. I want to learn a dance and join a flash mob within the next year.
6. I get nervous when I talk on the phone and giggle a lot.
7. I have a lot of love to give, and I am special, and wonderful, and gorgeous, and all those things I say about you in your blogs. Except I forget that sometimes, and become my harshest critic. I am human.