Hey You Bloggers,
I’m on to you. I’m starting to think there are “professionals” among us. “Professional what?” You should ask. I’m not talking about escorts, companions, or sex workers (although I do follow a few blogs with that content); I am talking about Sex Therapists, Human Sexuality Professors, best-selling erotica authors, world-traveling erotic photographers, sex-column writers, simply put, these people have advanced degrees in sex. And I think they blog among us.
I see myself as a wet pig-tailed awkward little freshman while they comprise the cool senior class; when I graduate to sophomore I’m not sure. I guess that is all up to me. All I know is that I’m glad I can hide in the wings and watch them, learn from them. Don’t laugh. Sure, I have very little inhibition, sexually at least, and I’m not afraid to share a good deal about myself photographically or otherwise; but…I still feel so innocent. At least I’m willing to try everything (or work on trying it at least) and I feel maybe my advancement to sophomore class is coming soon.
So, I read a lot of blogs. I try to read all that I follow but it requires long periods of catching up time that I don’t have. Anyway, I’m finding that my favorite posts are informative based on that person’s experience rather than research, they are sexually arousing, and the post is full of colorful words. Perhaps they are introducing me to a new kink, or presenting new data on sexual trends. Maybe they are portraying a relationship dynamic I’ve never considered. To be able to write something that makes people feel like they learned something yet they are wildly turned-on; this is my goal.
Pervertically Virtuous, authored by Z, gives me something to strive for, and she’s only been in the WP world for like a month! She knows what she wants and she gets it, there is no other way. The way she writes about her experiences is riveting, informative, and provocative. She can write sex, and she lives it, no doubt. She is a women who has chosen to do things her way and she has no hang-ups over it.
So now that you see what a blogger-boner I have for her, you can just imagine how excited I was when she nominated me for the Blogger She’d Like to Fuck award!
Ha ha, I tricked you! You didn’t know you were reading another award post!
Guess what?! There are rules:
1. Thank the blogger that awarded you and if you like, post this most cool award in your post.
I really think it is fantastic that Z nominated me. She is fucking sexy you guys (take her header as a clue, that is really her!) In fact, she is so sexy she probably modeled for this award way back in 201* when it was created. I don’t know if you have been to her blog yet, I put a few links up there. You know one thing I like about her that is totally unfair to a lot of other bloggers? I like that she’s been around a small enough time that I could read every single post back to the beginning. It is nice to find a blog of that quality and feel like you’ve been there from the get-go.
2. Post 5 sexy suggestions for other bloggers to do, try, or think about.
- sex under a waterfall or in a meadow strewn with buttercups
- sex at the Playboy Mansion with a model
- sex with with the Rugby team
- sex with someone at least 15 years younger or older than you or both
- sex on a hotel balcony overlooking a pool filled with people
Okay, really. This shouldn’t have been so hard for me that I had to make it a joke… Can I really call myself an authority on enough things that I could suggest you try or think about it? Maybe a better use of my time is to forge my path to advancing to sophomore or even junior status. I’m going to make a five bullet-point sexy bucket list (which still works because you should try it or think about it too):
- group sex- where everyone feels equally attended to, secure, and appreciated
- stranger sex/gangbang- maybe that Rugby team running joke isn’t so funny?
- strap-on sex- I need to feel total control of a situation just once. Giving only because I want to, maybe if they beg but I’m going to make them beg.
- outdoor sex- I have not done this enough in my life, even it is camping in the middle of nowhere or sex in a crowded parking lot. I want that heaving passionate need to just get it done right then and there.
- blindfolded fantasizing using toys or not- I don’t know, I just thought of this one, never really passed my mind before. But it would be fun to be blindfolded and made to lay still, not knowing what or who was going to be penetrating me.
3. Post a link to your sexiest blog post and why you think it is your sexiest blog.
Oh man, this is hard. I wonder if anyone has figured out I’m sort of at a blogging crossroads here? It has to do with photos. My first Finger Me Friday post was the sexiest, it got the most hits and the photos came out just how I wanted them. But the problem is, I wanted my writing to be sexy or the sexiest. So how about this, I’m going to point back to that fireman story I’ve left hanging now for oh, almost the whole time I’ve been here, I’ve been promising part two for over five months. No wonder I’m not getting the warm affectionate glances from firemen at the grocery store these days… Should I even say that I still plan to write it?
4. Nominate 5 other sexy bloggers and Let your nominees know they’re sexy.
Starting on the west coast, this summer. After renting an RV I will proceed to pick up MariMar. Rules will be worked out further but most likely they will include something like, “shirts optional” or “what happens on SSRT stays on SSRT”. We shall head east, picking up any bloggers (I’m sorry but I think one of the rules is also “vagina required***”) who want to join, Hyacinth I’m talking to you (nice pussy by the way) and Cara I don’t know if we are passing by you, but get on girl. We are heading your way Scarlett! And we are swinging by LSAM’s place and swooping her up for sure.
More details to come, and if we could meet up with lovely C, we would, but I’m afraid we’d have to have a boat, right?
By the way, the ladies above are my nominees for the BILF award. Four simple fun rules, if you have time, the award is yours. If I missed anyone I’ve been flirting with, I’m sorry, I guess I am a slut. Let me know I would be happy to edit the post.
* I don’t know when this award was created but I’ve seen in on posts going back to at least 2011. Recently, it was resurrected by Nate of Speaking out on Nate.
** I’m using slut for fun here, and I’d never want to offend anyone by using this term. I know that I have a high moral standing, and am a good person. For a great post about not embracing that term, see here.
***no offense if you have a penis.