filled and fooled

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Dear Husband, Part Two

23 Comments

Last night you found this blog. And woke me up to tell me before you read too far.  Then we read it together.  Beginning to end.  Afterward, you held me as I let go.  Tears dampened your shoulder as you held my head there.  Then you looked in my eyes and said, “there’s my girl.”  I am your girl, forever.  I felt like I came back to you.  That invisible wall I built was knocked down and you still waited there for me, despite the dust cloud pouring down on us.  And then you took me back, made me yours as we are meant to be.

As you silently read, I sat slightly behind you and held myself tightly; arms crossed and hands cupped under my chest.  I tried to talk you out of reading it a few times.  I felt light-headed and my stomach ached.  The pain of keeping a secret from you was immense.  And not just a secret, but something meaningful and important to ME.  Some fellow bloggers know I toyed with the idea of telling you very often, that or just shutting it down because I couldn’t share it with you.  I felt like I was cheating us out of something.  Me, the right to be happy with some expression of some of my inner thoughts, and proud for awards and accolades. And you, the right to read the stories, to know I’m posting real life moments where you rocked my world, and to know what your wife is doing with some of her free time.

After I wept on your shoulder, you held me closer than ever before.  I felt like it was our wedding day again, our first dance where we felt the room of eyes on us but it was still just us there together swaying and sighing in love.  I held my breath in that moment and smelled your skin through your shirt.  I felt such love for you.  But then I realized I had to hold myself up to what I said in Dear Husband.  So I got down on my knees.

Taking your flaccid cock in my mouth, I tongued and pulled and lapped and licked.  I looked into your eyes and told you how much I love your beautiful cock.  It is so perfect, so delicious.  I gave you my all, and tried to be the best I’ve been.  When I came up for breath you pulled me from my knees to give me rest.  You always think about me first.

But I was glad you wanted to move to the bedroom.  There in our bed we became one. You showed me your appreciation for the retelling of our experiences. You planted your seed deep within me and I felt whole again, a layer has been peeled back to where it should have been, and everything is again shared with you.

Through the night and today, you have remained open to discussion.  Nothing but loving and supportive.  This morning I’m blessed with texts like:

Love u, more and more every day.  I live for your approval.  I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow than I do right now.

Or

And no matter how much I enjoy seeing another guy penetrate you.  Or how much I like you talking slutty, nothing compares to how it feels when I am buried inside you, gazing into your wanton eyes, pumping you full of my love.

You complimented my writing and told me you don’t want me to stop blogging.  Thank you so much for that, because your opinion matters the most to me!

But, you felt hurt by some of the things I said.  I am so very sorry.  So, I want to clear up a few things:

  1. I have never and will never cheat on you.  My “About G” point was just to be fun and mysterious.  I would never be able to live with that guilt. I am already given the opportunity to be with other men, with you there, and I appreciate that and don’t need or want any more.  However, I did commit a form of an emotional affair via text/email with you-know-who a while back, as you know.  Old news.
  2. Fantasies are written for fun, and expression.  And with limited experience.  Instead of creating new characters I go back to the one or two that I can conjure up.  Maybe in time I will have some skills developing different types of characters, maybe not.
  3. I am not writing poetry for any one particular person, just an idea.  Inspiration from a photo or word even something silly like a parking lot or an airport runway.  I like to let the readers decide.  Maybe that is bad? I don’t know? It makes it more fun for me. I’m happy I get to share this with you now.

I will be understanding when you have questions, and be supportive when you feel betrayed, if your thoughts take you there.  I know its only been a few hours really since this all happened.  I will give you the time you need to process this.  I never intended to hurt you.

With all the love in my heart,

Wifey

23 thoughts on “Dear Husband, Part Two

  1. His actions and responses say much about him, but even more about you as a person. How worthy you are. Don’t ever forget it. ♥

  2. What a powerful post.
    Good luck to both of you.

  3. Great husband you have. I wish my wife would see my blog and understand. But I don’t think she would… Maybe I’m wrong…

    • I agree, he has been so understanding. Reading through comments he isn’t liking some of the way I portray him, but its giving us working points. It’s going to be hard but I’m glad to have it in the open.

  4. This says so much more…
    He is at least trying and moving forward because he loves you so much.
    In the end it might be a great thing…
    hugs and kisses
    Marí

  5. Oh G! I do hope this works out!

    Lots of hugs (for you and for him). He is probably very delicate just now, even though he seems to have started off well with this revelation. It is a whole new side of your life together, be gentle with him.

    • Thank you Nick, I will be gentle and as loving as can be. I will need to work hard to build his trust again.

      • That would be a good start. But, this is not just a ‘you’ problem. There are problems arising from his side, too, things that you find unacceptable. One of the main issues in a relationship is that one side cannot tell the other side what is going wrong. It is a part of the dynamics of all relationships, unfortunately, that some communication just does not happen. That is, in part, why you started a blog, to say all the things that are wrong that you could not discuss with him.
        It is all out there now, so build on it. You have little to feel guilty of, so use this to make it better for you and him. Fix what does not work for both of you, not just his hurts.

  6. It seems like the connection can only get stronger from here. Congrats G and bless you both. xxx

  7. Putting your heart, fears and lustful wishes into a blog is easy. For me it is a diary. Having your spouse or other such loved one read it is always difficult. Sometimes we say what we can’t to their face. Other times what we wish they would to ours. I wish you the best, though it sounds as if you already have it, so may it continue to grow and get only better!

    • Thank you Beatnik! It was so difficult to be exposed, but I am so lucky that he is so thoughtful and understanding, as he works through his feelings of betrayal. This is also a great lesson to me that avoiding conflict by being secretive just doesn’t work. Thanks again!

  8. I’m glad you are both finding a way forward! Good luck sweetness!

  9. Wonderful. I’m glad this was a positive thing. You have a good man, there.

  10. I’m glad he understands, good luck to you both

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