Last night you found this blog. And woke me up to tell me before you read too far. Then we read it together. Beginning to end. Afterward, you held me as I let go. Tears dampened your shoulder as you held my head there. Then you looked in my eyes and said, “there’s my girl.” I am your girl, forever. I felt like I came back to you. That invisible wall I built was knocked down and you still waited there for me, despite the dust cloud pouring down on us. And then you took me back, made me yours as we are meant to be.
As you silently read, I sat slightly behind you and held myself tightly; arms crossed and hands cupped under my chest. I tried to talk you out of reading it a few times. I felt light-headed and my stomach ached. The pain of keeping a secret from you was immense. And not just a secret, but something meaningful and important to ME. Some fellow bloggers know I toyed with the idea of telling you very often, that or just shutting it down because I couldn’t share it with you. I felt like I was cheating us out of something. Me, the right to be happy with some expression of some of my inner thoughts, and proud for awards and accolades. And you, the right to read the stories, to know I’m posting real life moments where you rocked my world, and to know what your wife is doing with some of her free time.
After I wept on your shoulder, you held me closer than ever before. I felt like it was our wedding day again, our first dance where we felt the room of eyes on us but it was still just us there together swaying and sighing in love. I held my breath in that moment and smelled your skin through your shirt. I felt such love for you. But then I realized I had to hold myself up to what I said in Dear Husband. So I got down on my knees.
Taking your flaccid cock in my mouth, I tongued and pulled and lapped and licked. I looked into your eyes and told you how much I love your beautiful cock. It is so perfect, so delicious. I gave you my all, and tried to be the best I’ve been. When I came up for breath you pulled me from my knees to give me rest. You always think about me first.
But I was glad you wanted to move to the bedroom. There in our bed we became one. You showed me your appreciation for the retelling of our experiences. You planted your seed deep within me and I felt whole again, a layer has been peeled back to where it should have been, and everything is again shared with you.
Through the night and today, you have remained open to discussion. Nothing but loving and supportive. This morning I’m blessed with texts like:
Love u, more and more every day. I live for your approval. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow than I do right now.
And no matter how much I enjoy seeing another guy penetrate you. Or how much I like you talking slutty, nothing compares to how it feels when I am buried inside you, gazing into your wanton eyes, pumping you full of my love.
You complimented my writing and told me you don’t want me to stop blogging. Thank you so much for that, because your opinion matters the most to me!
But, you felt hurt by some of the things I said. I am so very sorry. So, I want to clear up a few things:
- I have never and will never cheat on you. My “About G” point was just to be fun and mysterious. I would never be able to live with that guilt. I am already given the opportunity to be with other men, with you there, and I appreciate that and don’t need or want any more. However, I did commit a form of an emotional affair via text/email with you-know-who a while back, as you know. Old news.
- Fantasies are written for fun, and expression. And with limited experience. Instead of creating new characters I go back to the one or two that I can conjure up. Maybe in time I will have some skills developing different types of characters, maybe not.
- I am not writing poetry for any one particular person, just an idea. Inspiration from a photo or word even something silly like a parking lot or an airport runway. I like to let the readers decide. Maybe that is bad? I don’t know? It makes it more fun for me. I’m happy I get to share this with you now.
I will be understanding when you have questions, and be supportive when you feel betrayed, if your thoughts take you there. I know its only been a few hours really since this all happened. I will give you the time you need to process this. I never intended to hurt you.
With all the love in my heart,